Sunshine

44.

I sat in front of the window that separated the sick and the healthy. Hershel walked towards the window and when he saw me he smiled and sat down. He looked fine, maybe a little pale but that could also just be me. Seeing him on that side made my stomach turn, I wanted to cry but I knew that I need to be the strong one.

"Daryl finally buckled down huh?" Hershel asked looking at my hand. I chuckled and pushed my ringer around before nodding, "how are you feeling?" I asked taking the attention off me. It felt sort of wrong. I felt guilty for being happy, I felt guilt for everything these days. Being healthy. I wish I could trade places with all of these people.

"I'm fine, these people in here. They're fine, Sunshine. We are going to make it. Daryl should be back any time now. We are all going to make it." His confidence was a nice break from the constant pain and fear my mind has to offer. I wish I believed him, but apart of me held back. When was the last time the universe gave us a break?

"I can see the uneasiness of your face Sonny. It's the same look when i told you everything was going to be okay after James broke up with you, and after Amanda died, and then when James died." He started going down my amazing memory lane until I put a hand up and made him stop, "the point is that every time I'm right. Everything ends up being alright. You got something so beautiful out of the apocalypse, you have Maggie, Beth, so many new friends and family. You're married-" he started but I cut him off, "Hershel, just stay safe. For me." He nodded before he heard a cough and looked in that direction.

"I gotta @go. Keep distracted, come see me tonight. Bring Maggie." He said and I nodded before standing up and walking out of the cellblock and into the sunlight. I noticed Maggie at the fence so I decided to take a crowbar with me and go help get those walkers off the fence. When I made it down she looked over at me and smiled, "see daddy?" She asked curiously. I nodded slowly and then started to kill walkers through the holes in the fence.

"Said everything was okay, but I don't know-" I started and she nodded her head, "yeah, I know."

It was silent for awhile until we saw Rick pulling up. Carol and him went out awhile ago, I nodded at Maggie. She acknowledged me and then started to open the gate. I kept yelling to distract the walkers from the entrance or Maggie. I killed a couple in the process. When Maggie safely closed the gate we both walked over to the Kia Rick was driving. When he got out, I looked in the passengers seat to see it empty.

"Rick-" I started but he cut me off, "Carol is okay"

"Then where is she?" My worry turned cold as I stepped closer, "she killed Karen and David." Shocked filled my body, it ran cold as it felt like I was about to shut down. She couldn't of, she killed them?

"What?" I asked.

"Said she tried to stop it from spreading. I couldn't have her around, Tyreese will be back soon." Rick said so easy it hurt. Carol, a woman who has helped me through more than my own mother was now just gone out in the world. Who knows if we'll see her again, "would you of kept her?" Rick motioned sort of irritated towards me. I wasn't sure if he was irritated with my reaction or his choice.

"She said she did it?" Maggie interrupted.

Rick looked over and nodded, "yeah."

I sighed and looked down at the floor thinking about it. If it were me, my bias relationship would come first. She helped me. Maybe kicking her out was the right choice as a leader, maybe.

"If she said she did it, and she left, she knows she was wrong. I think it was the right move. Just don't know if I could do it." I gave him the truth, he nodded and then said, "you could sunshine. You've done worse." He then turned around and headed towards the prison.