The Neurologist's Love

C H A P T E R 3 2

A lot of the times your behaviour is rooted through events that are carried out in your life. Whether they are good or bad, sometimes it's not just your childhood, but a huge event that impacted you going on forward. Sometimes when you are constrained, and pressured, and sometimes when you are given all that you have and freed that moulds the person you will be.

This is why parents have the hardest time when you are a teenager, you're finding yourself. You have pressures from society, media, friends, and your parents. It can get a lot from someone. Some people come out bitter and some people come out stronger.

Some times you are a good person, and you grow up having a great life. No enemies, not hate, or you simply don't let it affect you.

The days were long for me, and sickening. I would keep myself hidden from Melissa. I didn't want her to know what I was doing to myself. I would lie about having too much to study, which I hated doing. I hated lying, but I knew whoever this was wouldn't let me die. They needed me to live for a reason.

My body felt that it had hit its rock bottom, I was shivering non-stop and because of that, I cried many nights. I couldn't sleep. I felt like I was about to pass out any minute, my body was uncontrollably aching, shivering. Dull pains were felt around my chest and hurt. I would have odd striking pains in different portions of my body, it would last from seconds to hours.

There was one day where Melissa was just sticking around, talking and opening up about her life, but every time I was shivering and was in pain, I'd laugh it off, making her think I was just laughing at her funny-yet-not funny remarks.

I woke up that day, shivering uncontrollably, I was so tired of it. The time was 5 am, everyone was asleep at this time and I had to get up to pray fajr. I couldn't stop wincing at my pain, oh lord, I prayed to him, I asked him for my forgiveness. For my family back, I needed them back. I couldn't handle this anymore, I wanted my lord to save me. I had stopped praying for a while, and I cried in immense regret. Who had I become, my depression took over, and I felt that I was worthless to my lord. But not today, I got up, crying in shivers, and prayed like it was my last prayer.

"ya Allah forgive me, ya Allah forgive me, ya Allah you are the most merciful the more beneficial, ya Allah I was wrong, help me" I cried, begging to be saved.

That's when my highly sensitive ears picked up these small clicks of footsteps. Everything around me went count except for those. I turned around, feverish and cold. I contemplated whether I should go out or not. The footsteps faded and were followed by a loud door slamming noise.

I got up from the carpet and decided to walk out. However, because of how I felt, I scanned my room to find anything that can help me walk. There was a cane I remembered seeing in the closet, I went to open it up and grabbed this wooden cane I for some reason remembered.

I also grabbed a scarf along the way, just to make sure it wasn't any man wandering around. The sound that I remembering hearing from came from my left, and in my left, there were many hallways and the library door. The library lights were on, evident through the small slip of the bottom of the door. Someone was there, so either I could run away, or also confront who was there and make them give me answers.

I limped all the way to the library, probably the hardest walk I did, it was so painful, I just wanted my limbs off of my body.

The doorknob gave me shivers to my already shivering body, and that's when I met with someone that changed the whole world for me. I opened the door and was met with a warm baked smell and a small little girl with an IV machine attached to her. My eyes widened at the sight of her, and my heart dropped. It felt like one of those horror movies where you see a little kid that's actually a demon. Her hair was shiny brown in a nice ponytail, and she was wearing PJs. I couldn't tell what her face was.