Unbind the Strings

Thirty Four

"Aba okay naman na ako kay Jay, e. Wala na akong nararamdaman do'n." I said.

"Ah kaya pala bigla kang naiyak no'ng may kasama siyang iba? Kaya pala pagdating mo rito nahagulgol ka? Hindi ka naman maguguluhan ng ganyan Cali kung wala ka nang nararamdaman kay Jay. Tanga lang ang maniwala na naka move-on ka na." I looked at her and gave her an evil stare. "Bakit? Totoo naman, ah. Hindi mo na mahal?" she asked me while raising her eyebrows.

"Hindi naman nawala 'yun, e." I said looked down.

"Magpakatotoo ka sa sarili mo, Cal. Huwag mong bigyan ng pag-asa si Liam dahil lang wala kang choice at naawa ka sakanya. Tapatin mo, maiintindihan ka naman no'n. Napakabait no''n, kahit yata lokohin mo 'yon sa harap niya hindi siya magagalit. Be honest and follow what you really love." I slowly smiled and looked at her. "Minsan ka nang nag-sacrifice ng sarili mong kasiyahan para sa ibang tao kaya ngayon, piliin mo na 'yung talagang gusto mo. Ipaglaban mo kung mahal mo." she said and tapped my back.

"Would it be unfair to Liam if I have to choose Jay?" I asked her, tears flowing down my face.

"Maybe, umasa 'yung tao, e. Pinayagan mong manligaw, pero like what he said no'ng breakfast natin, as long as masaya ka sa decision mo, he's good. Try to talk and settle things between you and Liam first, maiintindihan ka no'n." she smiled and gave me a hug. I nodded and hugged her tightly as well.

I stood up and walked to the hotel where we are staying. I entered the elevator and I was thinking deeply on how to say it to Liam. I arrived at our room floor and entered the room quietly. I saw Liam watching the television quietly, he saw me entering the room so he quickly stood up.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look good." he said. I instantly walked towards him and hugged him tightly. I cried and cried while he was looking clueless, wondering why I'm acting like that. 

"I'm sorry.." I keep on crying on his chest and he's slowly tapping my back.

"Mahal mo parin siya, 'no?" He said while caressing my back. I just kept on crying and he already knows my answer. "Shhh, don't feel guilty. Hey, Cali." he pushed me away so he can see my face and look me in the eye.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." I just keep on repeating those words kasi I feel so guilty. I really don't deserve him, he's so pure and kind, I don't know. "You don't deserve someone like me, Liam. I'm so sorry." I said while wiping my tears away.

"Hey, hindi mo naman kasalanan na nagmahal ka. I didn't want better, Cali. I wanted you, but I know ever since I started courting you na you wanted him. I was so stubborn 'cause I wanted to see if there's a chance na you can forget about him, but I was wrong. Huwag mong sisihin ang sarili mo dahil lang nagmamahal ka, mas maiinis lang ako sa'yo 'pag ako ang pinili mo pero siya naman talaga ang mahal mo." he looked at me straightly into my eyes and smiled.

"I'm really sorry, Liam." I said, looking down.

"Isa pang sorry mo, talagang maiinis na ako sa'yo niyan. Stop blaming yourself for loving him, it was never your fault. It was never your responsibility to love me back. You did what you could, and that's enough. Now, stop apologizing and go back to him. Baka nauna na 'yun umuwi." Lalo akong naiyak sa sinabi niya. He wiped my tears away and hugged me again.