Unbind the Strings

Nineteen

Hindi ako makagalaw sa kinatatayuan ko nang makita ko ang pirma sa papel na hawak ko. I didn't expect any of these. I have so many questions that are going in my mind right now. Why does he have to be included here? Is this some kind of trap or what? I can't help but to cry and hold Gab's arms kasi feeling ko matutumba ako anytime.

"Cali...baby..." napatigil ako sa pag-iyak nang marinig ko ang isang pamilyar na boses.

Gab let me sit down the bench and she told Jay not to come near me first. I can hear them fighting but I just ignored it kasi wala ako sa sarili ko ngayon. I should hear him out but not this time I guess. I'm still occupied by what I saw and what's happening right now.

"Cali, please talk to me. Ano ba 'yun? What happened?" I heard his soft, concerned, and shaky voice. It's so hard to resist him when he's like this.

"Huwag muna ngayon Jay, please. Sa susunod nalang. Masyadong marami ang iniisi-" he hugged me from behind and rested his face on my shoulder. 

"Cali, I'm here to help you...Ano pang silbi ko kung sa mga panahong kailangan mo ako, wala ako sa tabi mo?" I instantly let go of his hug and faced him with so much emotions.

"Talaga ba, Jay? Were you there all the time noong mga panahong kinailangan kita? Wala ka! Pero kinaya kong mag-isa kasi baka hindi ko na alam manyayare sa 'kin kapag inantay pa kita!" I was already shouting and pointing my fingers at him. I shouldn't be acting like this. I was so full of my emotions and I can't help but to express it. 

"Cali, I'm sorry I thought it's okay...I thought you understand..." he was grabbing my hand and letting me face him. Pinilit niya akong humarap sakanya para magtama ang aming mga mata. His eyes looked so tired na parang anytime may tutulong luha mula roon.

"Okay nga lang. Naiintindihan ko naman, pero minsan kasi parang ang sakit na rin...Wala ako matakbuhan...Hindi ako alam saan at kanino ako lalapit kasi lagi ka namang wala..." my tears can't help but fall everytime I'm speaking to him.

"You never told me you're having a hard time, baby..." his voice kinda cracked while trying to get my hand and holding it tight. "I-I'm sorry...I don't know that you're feeling that way..." he was caressing my face, still letting me face him.

"Paano mo nga malalaman eh lagi kang wala?" I wiped my tears and made a serious face while looking back at him. 

"I'm always here, Cali. You can tell me everything that's going on.  Don't you trust me enough?"  hindi niya parin binibitawan ang kamay ko at nakatingin parin sa 'kin.

"I trust you, Jay...sobra." I'm trying to control my tears from falling again.

"Eh bakit hindi mo sinasabi sa 'kin mga problema mo? I am here to help. Why don't you tell me what's going on?" he's giving me a convincing look, trying to see if I will give in.

"Kasi every time na sasabihin ko sa'yo, you're always leaving...everytime na i-oopen up ko, sasabihin mo aalis ka na. You never asked me how's my day..." I was already crying in front of him.  

"Cali...you never let me explain my side...You always say it's okay. You always cut me off and ask me different types of questions, hindi na kita natatanong." he said while looking straight at me.

"So? Edi sana siningit mo 'yung tanong mo! Inaantay lang naman kita!" he tried to control his smile from showing up on his face. He didn't react and pursed his lips.