Unbind the Strings

Thirty Four

"Boyfriend? How sure are you na boyfriend ko si Liam?" I said, habang natatawa. Pinagsasabi nito?

"Men's instincts, kaya I told Gab na I don't want to come empty-handed. So I told Sophie to act as my girlfriend pero ang kapalit, sagot ko lunch niya for the whole month. But seriously though, sorry for bothering you guys." biglang nag-off yung tone ng voice niya.

"Pero bakit wala kang paramdam? Kahit mag text ka man lang sa 'kin or mag-chat ka kila Gab to check up on me, hindi mo nagawa?" I asked him, almost teary-eyed.

"I am always visiting you, Cal. I am always watching you from afar. I even saw how you drove his car, how you took care of him nung napilayan siya, how you bought his favorite breakfast. I was there the whole time, but seeing you happy with him makes me think you don't need me anymore." he said, biglang nalungkot na naman ang tono ng pananalita.

"Bakit...hindi ka man lang nagpakita sa 'kin?" I asked him seriously.

"Kasi I know na kapag nakita mo ako baka iwan mo na naman 'yung nagpapasaya sa'yo. I don't want you sacrificing your happiness for other people's sake. I want you to be genuinely happy, Cal. Noong sportsfest niyo, I was there. Paakyat na ako ng hagdan, I already parked my car outside to go and talk to you pero I saw you and Liam talking kaya sabi ko next time nalang." He looked at me and said, "Cal, alam ko kapag masaya ka at hindi. Seeing you happy with him makes me happy as well. Aminin mo man sa hindi, alam kong napapasaya ka niya." he said again.

"I tried reaching out to you for so many times, I called you, I piled you a lot of texts...I-" hindi ko na maituloy ang sinasabi ko kasi sobra na akong naiiyak. I can't even imagine how he handled this kind of trial without any help from anyone.

"I told you I have no phone. Nakikistalk lang ako sa phone ni Sophie, good thing your account was in public." he chuckled. "It's okay Cali. I am okay, and you should be okay, too." 

"Tanga ka ba? Paano ako magiging okay e puro konsensya laman ng utak ko ngayon? Tangina ka kasi e, alam mo namang simula't sapul ikaw ang gusto ko tapos sasabihin mo you should be happy achchuchu. Tanga ka talaga. Bahala ka, you lost your chance!" I shouted at him and turned my back while crying so hard. 

"Hey, Cali..." He said, trying to stop me from walking away.

"Tangina ka, bahala ka dyan. Papakita nalang, nagtago tago ka pa! Hindi naman ako multo para katakutan mong hayop ka! Manigas ka dyan, ginugulo mo lalo utak ko!" I said and ran away completely. I found myself sitting in front of rock formation at the end of the beach walk.

I was wondering what would it be like if Jay showed up, kami parin kaya? What if hindi na siya nagpakita, sagutin ko na kaya si Liam? "Ugh! Fuck! Ang hirap naman ng ganito!" I shouted and cried it all out.

"Huy! Ang ingay mo, wala ka sainyo." Gab said, while sitting beside me. "Anong problema? Naguguluhan ka na 'no?" I rolled my eyes at her and sighed deeply.

"Sabi ko sa'yo ibigay mo nalang sa 'kin si Liam, e. Edi sana hindi na siya naging panakip butas." We both laughed at what she said and I slapped her shoulder.

"Gaga, nagseseryoso na 'yung tao nagawa mo pang magbiro." I said and looked away.

"Kapag kasi hindi ka pa tapos mag mahal do'n sa isa, huwag kang magmamahal ulit ng isa pa. Pareho mo silang sinasaktan, e. Pati sarili mo sinasaktan mo na rin. Tingnan mo, hindi ka mapakali. Halika nga, papagupitan kita, napaka haba naman talaga ng buhok, e." she mockingly said.