Somewhere Along The Way

Chapter:16

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Unedited...

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Clarissa stare at him frozen.

"He is going through major identity crisis"

"What?"

"T.. That is not even a scientifically proven physiological disorder" She said frowning, he is joking right.

"That's the problem Clar. If it was, you would not be sitting here talking about this right?" Ronald asked giving her a pointed look. This is a family matter for him. He always looked up to Clarissa. She is his sister too.

"I am not in the mood for jokes, Ron" She glare at him, feeling choked a bit.

Identity crisis?

Sebastian is not weak to let identity lead him on. She knows that very well and if someone says otherwise than she will deal with them.

"I am not joking " Ronald said calmly.

"It's true minor identity crisis is normal. Most people go through that when they are teen and they are about to make their first career choice. They wanted to find themselves before making that choice which will impact their whole life but in this case it's totally different," Ronald said, he himself went through identity crisis but their is a huge difference here.

A difference he did not know how to solve. A difference for which he have seen that man suffer.

"He is not a teenager making career choices. This is a much bigger issue. There is a gape in his life. A ten years gap which makes it much more complicated than it should" Clarissa looked at him, her thoughts where all over the place as he tried to explain it to her. But she knows at the back of her mind that a ten year gap could be a major issue. Ronald was rubbing his neck sighing.

"Its almost 15 days he visited me and talked about seeing a girl in his vision. A girl who smiled at him warmly in that memory"

"I asked him how he feel, he told me something was weird. He could not understand his own bittersweet feeling attach to that memory. It does not connect to anything" He sighed.

"A few days ago when he come for a visit he talked about you and he was quite happy. It's been a long time since I saw him happy" Clarissa stare at him, her eyes widen.

"He is not happy with himself Clay. There is a war going on between him a war between who he is and who he was suppose to be. A constant fight and the gap make it quite painfully."

"Staring at the mirror feeling like you are staring at someone else. Things that should not effect you6 life is constantly reminding you of what you are. He is struggling, he has been struggling for the last 2 years but it is extreme now"

"You know what he has been through right?" Clarissa stare at him tears filled her eyes.

"Keeping a clear psychic after that is quite difficult but he did it and he paid the price with his emotions" Ronald rubbed his face he have worked with many people but Sebastian was different he cannot comprehens his own feelings. Not only that he is not good with words. A complexity he developed as a defense mechanism.

"And now he is going through this. He is torn between what he should and what he should not" Clarissa closed her eyes as a tear trailed down her cheek.

"Coupled it with anxiety and panic attack. Loosing control over you own body. Drawing in something which is you but you cannot relay on that is a painful feeling. Only those you are going through that can understand. He is breaking in ways which you can't see and when you will see it will be too late"