destruction | t.m.r

chapter twenty eight.

It's 24th of December. It's the day before Christmas and I know for a fact that Tom doesn't celebrate it. But I do. I love it actually, all the preparing, it gives me time to do something, to get my mind of the troublesome things.

While I was preparing the food and the house Tom was in his study. He didn't leave it. I was worried, but left him alone not trying to get on his bad side. The cooking was fun, I made lots of food, cookies, dinner. The house smelled wonderful, it brought memorys from the future, were I baked goods with my mum. I miss her, not only her.

Thinking of my past life made my eyes burn with tears, why in this moment? Why must I remember them now when I put them in the corner of my mind. I put the cookies down, their weight was somehow to much for me to carry, they fell with a crash.

Why are tears streaming down my face?

I went to wipe them away, but Tom came into the room before I could wipe them all. "What happened?" His voice sounded unfamiliar, have I not heard him for so long? "Why do you care?" I spoke with venom, I do not know what came over me. I blamed him for this, for loosing everything.

But I made the decision, and ending it all is not an option anymore. "I'm sorry, I just burned my hand." I apologized, now wiping the tears away fully. I went to pick up the fallen goods of the floor. Tom only stood there, he didn't speak nor did I, but his heavy gaze made me feel heavy. Like he was standing right beside me when he in reality wasn't.

I could see that he wanted to say something, probably some crule remark, but he held himself back probably not wanting to see me cry anymore or from the thought that he himself would need to comfort me, which is not possible.

"I don't celebrate Christmas so I won't be here tomorrow." He said it so hastily I couldn't understand him. After some time I did. And I cried again, why, why, why. So many questions without answers.

Every happiness that was inside me now disappeared, it flew away though the open window. Tom was long gone from the house, his once silent movements now gone truly. The house felt even more lonely, because when he was in the study I actually knew he was here, but now, I'm alone.

I went to take down all the Christmas decorations, it was a workout, putting them on and now taking them off. Why must I take them off? Only because of Tom? Those thoughts clouded my mind, but I was already more than halfway done with taking them off and there was no thought of putting them back on.

Then came the Christmas tree, it was beautiful. An piece of art. I decorated it in green, so everything fitted together, decorations and the tree itself were one. How we adorn the tree, as if we lost faith in it's only beauty and so cover it in ribbons and gold, trinkets and glitter.

As I went to remove round objects one by one. I take in the odour of the pine leaves, still soft on this living tree. I think of replanting her in the garden where she belongs. And as the pile of manmade things grow at my feet, she is revealed and perfect.

In all my days I will never see anything more beautiful than this tree, her branches chaotic and orderly, reaching for sunlight. The green colour standing out in the dull living room. I'm for sure going to replant it, even if it took me a whole day to dig a hole and then take her out of the house.

By night, I was done. The food went cold long time ago and my body ached, so painfully that when I went to sit in the bathtub I crumbled into a ball. The loneliness of the house still haunted me, it was hovering over my shoulders. It made me shiver.

I went to wash my body, trying to clean myself as good as I can, knowing that a warm bed is waiting for me just on the other side of the wall. I do not know when Tom is coming back. Do I even want to see him anymore? Of course, but now I just want to rest my eyes, my whole being actually from this stressful day.

Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul.

After slipping into the covers of my bed, my eyes shut quickly alongside with my mind. Everything went black. The bliss I get from sleeping is one of the most enjoyable things this world can offer you. 

When I woke up, the house was still empty with only me inside, but it felt different. It tasted somebody elses presence not so long ago. When I went to look up at the bedside table there was a small box I didn't up there. Taking it into my hand and opening it I found a silver necklace.

A sunflower hung from it.

It was beautiful, simple.

A letter was under the box, on which 6 simple words were written in ink.

Thank you for having me here.

My heart skipped a beat, knowing fully well from who it was. I went to run towards the study. Empty. Towards the living room. Empty. Towards the kitchen. It was empty, but the food I cooked was eaten, at least some part of it.

He was here and tasted my food, he gave me a gift on Christmas and I have only been rude to him. It made me feel silly, somehow guilty. The rest of the day went quickly. I stayed in and read books, the snow outside was falling slowly, littering the earth with its greatness.

Tom Riddle on other side found himself in an alley, his hand was pressed against his stomach, red fluid was staining his white shirt. His head was leaning on the wall, looking at the sky as snow fell on his face. His eyelashes were full of it, but cold didn't bother him anymore.

The pain was unbelievable, but he didn't care about it, somehow the crying image of the girl with gray eyes hurt him more. It terrified him once again. So he needed to get out of that house. He knew that you need to get a right distance between people. Too close and they overwhelm you, too far and they abonden you.

He never let anybody close to him, but for Myra Rowe, that rule was broken from the moment he spoke to her.

AUTHORS NOTE :
Hello! As some know this story is finished, but I'm editing it and the edits are coming out slowly because I have a tight schedule. Hope you stay interested and continue reading, all the love and stay safe xxx.