TwENTY SiX { asphyxiate }

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TW // this chapter features descriptions of an anxiety attack which may be triggering to some readers.

viewer discretion is advised. as of this point you've been warned.


Jungkook brought him into their bedroom and sat him down on the foot of the mattress. Taehyung, with his mind on autopilot, slipped his shirt over his head, then he stood to remove his pants too.

"What are you doing?" Jungkook asked quickly. He grabbed Taehyung's wrists to stop him from taking off his pants. Taehyung looked at him like he was the one doing a crazy thing.

"The... the deal," he murmured. "You let me see Yoongi, so we—"

"Oh, no, no, doll. No, not tonight."

Taehyung furrowed his brow. That's not the deal... "Oh. Okay."

It was confusing... Jungkook was always so ecstatic about their deal. Him not following through with it this time — why? Taehyung, thankful and relieved, still felt unease slither back up his spine. It was so unlike Jungkook to act like this, there had to be something else going on; even after his brother's death, Taehyung didn't expect this change in behavior — Jungkook's behavior has always been constant, why change now?

Taehyung eyed him stiffly, but as sick and exhausted as he felt, he sat back down on the foot of the bed. Jungkook picked up his shirt for him, but Taehyung didn't bother putting it on.

"I feel sick."

And rightly so. He saw a corpse... the corpse of his friend. Seeing Yoongi in such a state — looking like he usually does, but mannequin-esque, cold, and dull — it was so different from anything Taehyung could have imagined; so different from anything he had ever seen before. TV shows and movies don't do death justice... dead bodies on screens are nothing in comparison to this. Because this was real. Bile crept up the back of Taehyung's throat again. That knowledge — the knowledge of Yoongi's death and the obscure reality of it all — and the feeling of losing his only friend punctured Taehyung's heart, especially since Jungkook didn't appear to be all that affected by the death of someone who was supposed to be so dear to him — he only seemed affected by Taehyung's reaction to it all.

"Let me get you some pajamas," Jungkook offered, turning to the dresser. He spun back around in the next instant. "Or would you rather wash up first? Do you want to take a shower?"

Taehyung looked up at him slowly, a brain-fog preventing him from understanding his rapid-fire questions quickly enough to keep up. Jungkook was acting manic with worry, looking at Taehyung like he had all the right answers but was refusing to release them.

"I... I wanna go to sleep."

"Okay," Jungkook replied immediately, but he didn't sound all that convinced. "Do you want anything else first? Food? Fresh clothes?"

Taehyung shook his head and turned to crawl up the bed, curling up in his spot. He didn't even bother getting under the covers. Jungkook turned out the lights and tucked Taehyung in, arranging him beneath the blankets and placing himself beside him. He tried to snuggle, but Taehyung wriggled out of his arms, facing his back to Jungkook, and, for once, Jungkook didn't push it.

Taehyung was so exhausted, but somehow he couldn't sleep. Jungkook seemed to fall asleep in seconds, but time passed by a lot quicker than Taehyung could sense in his grief-riddled mind. It felt like only thirty minutes since Jungkook had turned out the lights, but in reality the clock was already edging on 4 a.m. It had been hours, and he was still wide-awake, doing nothing. He wasn't even thinking anymore...

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