Reasons to Live | ✔

Chapter 9-

"Right. So how come he's always hanging out with you now? You even went to his house. What exactly is going on between you two?" Megan pressed on.

"Wait you told Joshua?" I said, shocked that Megan would rat me out like that.

"Hell yeah I knew about it! I was waiting till you bring it up of why you were going to Calvin's house...alone," Joshua exclaimed as I mumbled a curse word under my breath.

There is literally no such thing as privacy in our friend group. 

"I always hang out with you when we're alone, Joshua. It's normal and nothing is going on," I retorted lamely while Megan rolled her eyes.

"That's because you know Joshua since you were in middle school," she countered, "you guys are like siblings from different mothers."

"I agree. And I've known both Calvin and you since freshmen year. Not once had you guys made an effort to talk to each other even when I tried to get you guys too talk to each other more. You guys occasionally exchanged hellos, but that's about it. Then there was that time during junior year when you two were partnered up for a project. You guys didn't even try to get to know each other. And this year, you're hanging out at his house and talking on the phone with him!" 

Suddenly it hit me. 

Joshua should seriously think about becoming a detective when he graduates from college.

"Friends do that all that time. Guys, that's all we are," I tried to reassure them.

"Oh please, that's never true. I mean I told you guys that I thought of Andy Delgado as my friend and we're dating."

"What?" Joshua and I looked as Megan in shock.

This was new.

"He literally asked me out this morning when he came over to introduce himself to my parents. I was dying to tell you guys so...here it is!" Megan said with the happiest smile. 

I couldn't help but smile when I saw how happy she looked.

"Well thats example number one!" Joshua said, trying to refocus back on me which caused me to groan.

"That's what you said about Paul as well actually, and you ended up dating him without telling us for a few months!"

I almost spat out my drink when I heard his name from Megan's mouth.

Paul James. 

My ex. 

We dated way back in freshmen year until just recently. I regretted breaking up with him in the summer, but I really couldn't deal with dating after the incident. 

He is a great guy, and Megan and Joshua both approved of us dating even though he was a year older. When I broke up with him, I promised that we would still be friends and keep in contact. He has been calling me every week since our breakup, but I never answer, scared of what will become of us. I usually text him saying that I'll call him back later or that I was a busy. Joshua and Megan still talk to him. Apparently he still liked me and wanted to patch things up with me.

Me?

I don't know anymore. I do miss him a lot, and he treated me well and everything. But right now dating is not on my mind at all.

In fact I don't think I can ever date ever again.

I'll just get ten cats and live happily in the suburbs alone.

I had to thank God that Paul decided to move out of state for college as he got accepted to his dream school which was New York University.

"If you want, call Calvin and ask. Then you'll find out how crazy you guys are acting as well," I finally concluded, trying not to think about Paul anymore.