Wishing I Could Save Myself from a Life I Despise: My Shadowed Life Series

Chapter 14: Silent Punishment

Sorry it took so long :( Comment Vote & Enjoy!!!

*******************************************************************************************

Recap chap 13:

“My father and Chester, they… they beat me and rape me and there is nothing I can do about it.” My soft voice trembled.  I wasn’t sure why I admitted it, but I felt a level of freedom, to have finally confided in someone.

I just hoped his reaction would be one that I could live with

*********************************************************************************************

Chapter 14: Silent Punishment

“Tristan.” I whispered.

I wanted to tell him so badly. I promised myself that if it kept happening, that I would admit it and we would run away. Funny how things turned out, our grand escape never happened, at least not as of yet.

We had virtually no money and no place to go. I struggled to steal small amounts of money from Ches and him. But it was nowhere near enough for the two of us to break free. I wished that I could save us and that we could escape this life, a life that I despise, but sadly, nothing I tried ever panned out.

I crawled into his bed and snuggled against him, tears brimming in my eyes at the thought of just remembering what had happened a short while earlier. My father had given me another of his presents, only this time he was decidedly rougher than usual. He must have been very angry, or very horny.

I struggled fiercely, though it made no difference. He hit me repeatedly, blackened my eye and split my lips. I don’t know why I expected anything less than that. It was my punishment for killing my mother, it was what I deserved. I made no sound and suffered my silent punishment.

Feeling the tears overflow my eyes, I felt guilty, incredibly guilty. I knew this was what I had coming to me, but not Tris. He didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. He didn’t cause our mother’s death, yet he suffered just as I did. Well, not as much since he wasn’t raped by his own father on a weekly basis for the last two years, but still, he suffered too. He must have heard my cries because he turned to me and embraced me in a most comforting way.

“Trini-boo? What happened?” He asked with a gentle voice as he strained to search my face in the darkened room.

“Oh Trini.” He mumbled as he softly stroked under my blackened eye.

I flinched in response to the pain that the light pressure had caused, but I wasn’t scared of Tristan. He was my brother, my twin and I knew he would never hurt me. In fact, I was absolutely certain that he would die trying to save me, protect me. This was the entire reason that I had kept quiet for the last two years.

It had been almost two years, two very long and painful years of torment and torture at the hands of my father, not to mention Chester. He raped me too, only it was less forced. With Chester, I knew he expected it, as he was my boyfriend. Even though I didn’t want it and barely put up a fight, I let him do it to me anyway. I just lay there silently and took what he gave me after he forced himself inside of me. What was the use in fighting when it just caused more harm to come to me?

In fact, it was a week until our 18th birthday. That would mark the two year anniversary of the first time my father violated me and broke my spirit.

“Tristan, I love you and I’m sorry.” I whispered into his shoulder.

I felt completely guilty for causing our mother’s death and lying to him this whole time. He always worried about me and knew something was wrong with me. He repeatedly questioned me about it, but not in a forceful way. He knew that if I wanted to tell him, I would, when I was ready. I wanted to confess to him, to relieve some of the pain and guilt I had bottled up inside of me, but I was ashamed and dirty. Who could love me after what I had to say?