Wishing I Could Save Myself from a Life I Despise: My Shadowed Life Series

Wishing I Could Save Myself from a Life I Despise: Prologue

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Wishing I Could Save Myself from a Life I Despise

Prologue

Darkness and pain. These are the only things I am accustomed to. It happens all of the time. First, comes the pain, followed swiftly by the darkness. There are many different types of pain. There is physical, and emotional, these can be broken down as well. How many times I felt the searing pain of broken bones, bruises and lacerations.

The physical pain torments and tortures me. Hiding the effects of it, is even worse. Talking and acting as though there is nothing wrong, lying to myself and those around me only adds to my sense of fear and worthlessness. How many times have I felt defeated, desperate and alone? It happens almost every day.

The darkness always follows. There are different types of darkness as well. There is the unconsciousness that always follows the pain, and then there is the darkness that descends upon me after I wake up. This is when I realize what happened and spiral into a pit of despair. It is lonely, living at the bottom of a black hole of misery, whishing, hoping and praying for a way out.

I have tried clawing back to the surface. I have tried finding my own way out; I have even tried, ending my own life. But all of these ways are fruitless. There is no escape. When will this end? My guess is when I am dead. My guess is that it won’t be much longer. Whether it is by my own hand… or one of theirs, it won’t be long now.

Not that I mind, I’m not worth the clothes on my back. I am not worth their ardent struggle to keep me from harming myself, just so they can do it for me. I am not worth… anything. Why do I even bother? Why do I even care? No one cares about me. Who would be disheartened if I died? Surely those that harm me, and try so hard to keep me for their own precious torture of me, wouldn’t even give a damn. They only want me for my body. They only want to hurt me.

I wish I could run away, save myself from more pain and misery, but that will never happen. I only wish I could die, put an end to it all. So many years I have lived in a black box of agony, my own hell of sorts, forever silently enduring the pain. I only wish I could save myself from a life I despise.

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Hope you enjoyed this.

Please let me know what you think & if I should continue.

Comments & Votes are welcome & appreciated.

Please move on to Chapter 1. Crissy =:)