Dance with Me! [YiZhan Mystery FF]✔️

-34- Departure day

-34- Departure day

It was Day X, the day when Zhan will go to the airport in the evening and leave the country. The day before he had already visited his family one last time and said goodbye to them. He felt as if this was not a farewell for a maximum of three years, but one forever. His mother and sister were crying and his father and brother were trying to sound calm. Until Zhan went to the front door, suddenly Cheng burst into tears and squeezed Zhan so tightly that he almost could not breathe.

After visiting his family, Zhan had spent the evening with his friends. A whole evening in an old small pub, which Yu Bin discovered by chance when he had to visit a customer.

The evening, which was planned as a wet and cheerful one, had a touch of melancholy with a lot of silence. And while Yu Bin at least tried to lighten the mood now and then, Bai Shu and Peng Chuyue mostly just stared holes in the air and didn't know what to say. But Zhan was no different. For the past six years, the four of them had rarely been apart for more than a few days. And Zhan knew beforehand that he would miss living with his friends and being able to see them all the time.

But the hardest part was yet to come. It wasn't saying goodbye to his family or his friends who was the hardest thing for him. No, the most difficult thing for him was to say goodbye to Yibo. Again and again he had thought about whether he should stay. Whether he was perhaps acting too hastily. And whether he was confusing unselfishness with selfishness. But in the end, he said to himself, now that everything was ready, he should leave. He wants to face this new challenge and not give up.

But when Zhan came to the nursing home that morning and saw Yibo in his bed, he was again unsure if he was doing the right thing. He decided to spend the whole day with Yibo. Which is why he came here very early in the morning. He wanted to spend these last hours with the person who became the most important person for him.

Why could he look into the eyes of everyone and say he is leaving because he thinks it is right and important to learn more about his task. But as soon as he sees Yibo lying in his bed, with his always the same facial expression and his eyes closed, he can't say that. Yibo doesn't even look at him, and yet Zhan has the feeling that he would look right into his head and know that Zhan is only fooling himself.

And the really frightening thing was that Zhan knew very well that he was only fooling himself. He knows how lame it sounds when he says he's leaving because of his task. He has long since admitted to himself that he was just a coward and scared.

Besides, he couldn't bear to see Yibo lying in his bed any longer, to wait every day for him to wake up and not even knowing if he will remember him, troubled Zhan. And also that everyone he wanted to make believe he was leaving because he wanted to learn how to help souls knows that he is lying.

Even Zhan's grandmother said to him: "I think it's wrong that you want to go. Even here in China there will be shamans who can share their knowledge with you. And I tell you, when the time comes, the right shaman will contact you all by himself. I was told to tell you to wait for the shaman's invitation. So do not go away and face your fear."

But Zhan wouldn't listen to his grandmother and her warning that he might still regret it, didn't make him change his mind.

As Zhan sat in the room next to Yibo, he told him that it had finally become noticeably warmer and the snow was beginning to thaw. "I even saw some of the grass in the park. The weather report said the temperatures will continue to rise in the coming days. I know you're probably less interested in what the weather's going to be like, but I wanted to tell you anyway so you could imagine what it's like out there." Zhan said, looking out the window.

After Zhan came out of the visitor's toilet, the door to the woman's room was open, where he could watch for the first time how a soul leaves the body. He stopped at the room door and looked at the empty bed. Three nights ago the woman died suddenly. Zhan heard a nurse say that the woman had some kind of seizure and suddenly started bleeding from her nose and mouth. When the doctor on call finally arrived, it was too late.

But the nurse also said, "Maybe she heard her husband talking to his long-term girlfriend on the phone and kept talking about divorce." Is that really what killed her? Was she so upset she wanted to die? And what about her child?

Back in the room at Yibo, Zhan stopped in the doorway for a moment when he saw Hai Kuan there. He looked reproachfully at Zhan and said, "Well, are you here to say farewell to my brother?"

"Hai Kuan, please. I've already told you all about it, I've already explained it to you. And I'm not going to stay away forever."

"But long enough to break my brother's heart when he wakes up and finds out you've run away and will be gone for years. That you couldn't even wait for him to wake up."

"All right, you're right. I'm an asshole and only think about myself." Zhan replied and sat on the other side of the bed. He wanted to be angry at Hai Kuan, but couldn't. So instead, he sat silently by Yibo's bed and avoided looking at Hai Kuan.

For one hour there was an icy silence until Yibo's father appeared. For Zhan, that was the moment when he first went into a retreat. He took his jacket and slowly walked to the small bistro that was only two streets away. He sat down at a free table, ordered some food and a coffee and tried to kill some time. He just couldn't and didn't want to be in the same room with Yibo's father anymore after he learned the truth.

The only thing that kept him from reporting Mr. Wang for complicity so far was that he wanted to leave this decision to Yibo. But until then, he wanted nothing to do with Mr. Wang. For him, he was no father and did not deserve to be called that. A father should always stand behind his sons and protect them. And not be intimidated and blackmailed by his wife just because he had problems with his eyes and was supposedly dependent on her.

When Zhan returned to the nursing home an hour later, Mr. Wang and Hai Kuan were still there. Zhan heard Mr. Wang talking about the room that had been newly furnished for Yibo's needs, where he would be transferred to in a week. "Then you'll finally be back home with us, and we'll take care of you." Zhan heard him say it, before he turned around and left.

He went to the park nearby, wiped the muddy snow off a bench and sat down. The sun's rays shone in his face and warmed his body. He watched a cat trying to catch a bird and saw a dog excitedly pulling his owner through the park. There were also some children who complained that they couldn't go on the lake anymore.

Zhan stayed in the park until late afternoon. And even when the sun didn't warm him up any more and he had started to freeze, he still stayed in the park and didn't want to go back until Mr. Wang and Hai Kuan had left.

When he finally returned to the nursing home, it was shortly after 5 pm and he was really frozen. But at least he was alone again with Yibo in the room. If only for a few more minutes. Because it was time for Zhan to say goodbye if he didn't want to miss his flight.

With a heavy heart, he held Yibo's hand and said, "I know I promised to wait. But unfortunately I cannot keep my promise. I love you and I wanted to wait, I really did. But I can't do it anymore. I can't watch you lying there and hope every day that you will finally wake up. I can't bear to see you like this. My heart aches every time I see you lying here. I wish I could hear your voice again. To hear you laugh or see you looking at me. I wish that you and I could have had more time together. I won't stay away forever, but I know I can't expect you to wait for me. I'm so sorry. I will now go and learn how to help lost souls, how to support them properly. And I hope that one day you can forgive me."

Zhan leaned over, kissed Yibo on the forehead and then turned away from him. It was too hard for him to look at him again. So he slowly walked towards the room door, ready to leave everything behind and face his training. But then he heard something in a scratchy and rough voice whispering, "You're an asshole!"

In the middle of walking, Zhan stopped and slowly turned around to Yibo. He stared stunned into the open teary eyes of Yibo, who croaked again repeated: "You're an asshole!"