Touring With One Direction

Chapter 30 Act My Age

"How do the boys feel about you being here?"

"They're ok with it, but who cares what they think."

"How are you feeling?"

"Well, my shoulder blade and arm were throbbing earlier."

"Why? What happened?"

"Uh, I got a tattoo. You literally met me outside of the building."

"Oh right. What tattoo did you get?"

"Well, Harry took a picture of my shoulder blade, but this is the one I got on my arm."

"Wow that's amazing. What's the significance behind them?"

"Well I got a paper airplane because it reminds me of how far I've gotten. And the butterfly, well.. Niall let me use his butterfly necklace and I wore it to some VIP party."

"Oh, his mom's jewelry?"

"Yea. And Harry got a butterfly tattoo as well, so.."

"Why did you get the same tattoo as Harry?"

"Well he got a moth, so they're not identical. We're sorta seeing each other and no one but the boys and Andrew know."

"You're not dating?"

"Well no. He hasn't asked me to, but he asked me out for Saturday."

"Well if you guys aren't dating, then why do you kiss him?"

"How would you know if we kiss?"

"Because I'm not stupid. Harry's like that."

"Like what?"

"He gets attached too quickly. He's not sure what he wants. He used to date Louis behind Eleanors back."

"I doubt it."

"You want proof?"

Zayn reaches for his phone in his back pocket, and pulls up several videos.

"Make sure Eleanor doesn't see us, Louis."

"She's doing laundry."

I saw Harry creeping his fingers down Louis' pants, as they looked at each other.

"Quickie?"

"Hazza, Eleanor is in the other room."

Suddenly, Harry reached for Lou's face, and pulled him closer to his face. Their lips intimately kissed each other's, as they both seemed really into it.

"That was a long time ago. I'm sure he changed.

"Here's a video before we left for this tour. So only a few months ago."

Zayn scrolled for another video, as my heart was pounding. It was a black screen, but Zayn turned his volume all the way up. I could hear squeaking and some muffled raspy voices. My jaw dropped as I heard them moan.

"You like that Lou?"

"Mm, yea Haz."

I felt my heart drop. Like when you're on a rollercoaster and you just, drop. I could feel my damaged heart sink into a bottomless pit. It just kept sinking.

"I can't watch this."

"I have plenty of others if you don't believe me."

"Why wouldn't I believe you?"

"Because you only hear it. The video is black."

I stared off into the distance. Were all those little things he told me a lie? The time we danced after the vip party? And when we cuddled on the bus? Or even when we kissed in the pool? Was he using me for attention?