No Good For You

forty one

Sada
May 26th, 2020

"Sada wake up." Ally taps my shoulder and I groan, shrugging her hand off of me. "Get up! Look at this."

"No." I whine and turn in the other direction.

"Get your ass up." She slaps my butt hard.

"What?!" I sit up with an irritated look.

"You're on one of these weird fanpages."

"What?" I rub my eyes to clear my vision and look at her like she's crazy.

"A Billie Eilish page posted you." She shows me the picture of me and Billie smiling at each other like we were the only people that mattered. "You know Billie Ei-" She pauses and looks at me, "is that your Billie?"

I sit thinking of what to say but I couldn't lie. I sigh followed by a nod. "Yeah, thats my Billie." I push the phone away from me and sit up, preparing myself to get ridiculed.

"That's why you were at the Bell Twins party?" She asks, piecing it together and I nod quietly. "Are you still in contact with her?"

"No." I instantly respond and grab her hands. "I don't want to ever talk to her again."

"This is a lot to understand."

"I know, trust me I still can't believe it." I lean against the couch and pull my knees to my chest. "I hope this isn't weird."

"Is that why you kept checking your phone the other night?" She asks and I shrug. That's exactly why.

I had graduated on the 23rd and I was hoping she'd send a congratulations text. I only got one from her mother and Finneas. I was crushed because I'm positive she sent Tori one, I unblocked her number weeks ago when we last talked so that wasn't an excuse.

She was the only one I wanted to hear from. Hell, even Roland texted me congratulations after I'd been giving him the cold shoulder all week.

"So do you still like- have feelings for her?" She asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Do you want the truth or what you want to hear?" I ask turning to face her all the way. She scoffs and runs her fingers through her hair. "Why are you scoffing? Does this make you uncomfortable- cause I can go." I sling the blanket off of me and grab my shit off my coffee table.

"I'm not stopping you." She shrugs and I chuckle bitterly, nodding my head.

"So it does make you uncomfortable."

"What makes me uncomfortable is knowing that she can decide whenever she gets off tour that she's sorry. She can pop back into your life with ease."

"You think it's that easy because she has a few million in her pocket? She cheated on me Ally, I don't care who she is. I'd expect you to know that."

"Ileese isn't some mega fucking star Sada."

"Did you just curse at me?" I ask in disbelief and she rolls her eyes. "Look I can see why you're a little shocked or whatever- but being bitchy is not needed. What's your real issue?"

"She obviously has you so far gone that you don't want a relationship with me. Imagine what it'll be like when she's home, you're gonna run to her arms."

"I don't want a relationship because I don't! I was cheated on and so were you! I don't trust you enough to be in a relationship."

"But you trust me enough to have sex with?" She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow.

Touché.

"I don't feel like arguing Ally. I'm gonna go home and give you time to work your feelings out since Billie triggered you." I motion to her and walk to the door to slip my shoes on. Once I realize she won't be following after me, I fling the door open and let it slam on my way out.