The Risk of Falling in Love (CallMeKevin Fanfic)

Chapter 2: Everyday Is The Same Fecking Day

(Celia's Pov)

I fluttered my eyes open to the sound of my phone alarm going off. I sighed and groaned as I hit the snooze button and let out a long sigh...Sucks having to work when you have severe depression because all I wanna do is sleep and not get out of bed...but I work and kinda have to...

I sighed as I sat up and rubbed my face tiredly. I looked seeing it was 6am and work starts at 7am and ends at 7pm. I begrudgingly swung my legs over my bed and just sat there...it's so hard getting out of bed in the morning but I really like my job and don't want to get fired so...

I finally managed to hop out of bed stretching and yawning. I went to my dresser and hopped in jeans and a sweater since It's never really warm here in Ireland and that's kinda how I like it...dark and depressing like myself...

I brushed my crusty hair since I haven't showered in god knows how long because why bother? I sighed as I put on a beanie, slid on my shoes and headed out of my room and downstairs to nothing but silence meaning Sean's not awake.

Sean normally isn't awake at 6am, he sleeps like 10+ hours and does YouTube all day long and doing that requires energy and well for energy he drinks caffeine all day long or sleeps...I wonder what all of that is like...I can't sleep at night, I can hardly shower, leave the bed or eat, sometimes I cry myself to sleep because life is just so fecking shitty...

It's always the same damn thing...wake up, go to work for 6+ hours, come home, and stay in room all day unless Sean wants to do something, then tries to sleep and repeat...Every single fecking day is the goddamn same...

I sighed as I headed out of the house greeted by the dampness that is of Ireland. It was still quite dark out as dark clouds filled the sky meaning it could rain soon. The air smelled like rain as well which made me take a deep breath as I walked to work since it's not really far...plus it's the only exercise I get so why not?

When I got to work, I walked in seeing my co-workers setting the place up for business. They greeted me which made me force a fake smile and walk behind the counter. I put on my apron, made myself some coffee even tho it does nothing for my energy really but it tastes good so I'll take it.

When the shop was set up for opening, people started to walk in while my co-workers were at the register. We all sometimes take turns depending on things. I don't do well around people so I normally make the drinks or clean up after people leave, we also take turn closing up and have a schedule since there's 3 of us working here. We don't get crazy busy, but busy enough to keep us all 3 busy.

When I finished my coffee, I threw it away as me and my co-workers just got to work...We normally don't exchange much talk aside from what orders to make and who's doing what and it's a mutual thing, we're not friends or anything so doesn't really matter to me...

I may love this job but it's so hard doing it...I mean I don't have friends like Sean does, I don't talk to anyone from my family aside Sean, I don't have a boyfriend, nor have I ever had one. I never been on a date, had my first kiss or anything romantic in my life and I want that I really do...but I've read books and seen movies all about the cliché love shite and I know that's not how love works in the real world and that scares me...

I have major trust issues and there's so many risks falling in love, I mean what if they abuse me? What if they threaten me or my family if I can't break up with them? What if they only use me for sex? What if I do something wrong and they leave me? What if I open up to them and it scares them off and they leave me? What if they cheat on me? What if they don't love me...Like there's just too many risks and I'm nothing anyone wants to fall in love with...

I mean look at me...I'm ugly, fat, depressing, boring, lazy, worthless, forgotten, pathetic, stupid and a failure...who wants me like this? I'm nothing compared to everyone online or in person...I'm just nothing but a waste of space...who's doomed to just die alone...