the city // joshler

23

tyler's point of view

one month later

i take a shirt out of the closet. it's the shirt i wore on the day we picked grace up. i haven't worn it since. i smile to myself and then fold it, placing it carefully in the box of clothes on the floor.

we're almost done packing everything up now. all that's left is clothes and the bathrooms. mason has helped a lot and even grace helped quite a bit. my parents came by, a couple of mason's friends came too. josh helped with some of the heavier things and organizing the boxes in the uhaul.

it was strange to see him interact with mason, the way i could tell mason didn't have even an ounce of resentment towards josh and the way josh handled every backhanded compliment from mason's friends. it was interesting to see my mom meet josh, too. she told me in private that she thought he was "hotter than a sunny summer day," to which i laughed awkwardly.

grace has been handling everything pretty well. i know it's been kind of hard for her, but she hasn't cried since the first week of us telling her. she's doing great and i'm so proud of her.

josh is sweet to her, too. he bought her flowers and left them for her as a surprise at his house. he told her today he would help her paint her new room whatever color she wanted.

i finish my closet and tape the box, a small smile still resting on my face. i look around the room again and take a moment to let it sink in. it's completely empty.

i walk down the hall, slowly making my way down to the living room, taking in every detail of the nothingness. the holes in the wall from tacks hanging pictures, the stain on the carpet from the time grace spilled paint while making us christmas cards. every inch of this home has a memory, but it's not so sad to leave behind. it's more the feeling you get when looking at an old yearbook from school or a scrapbook of baby photos. it's a warm sense of nostalgia and hope for what's next.

when i make it outside, i see everyone else standing in the front yard talking.

"last box," i call out, carrying it to the truck.

"i got it." josh takes it from me when i get close enough to him and puts it wherever he finds best.

"i just wanted to thank you guys for coming today, you all were a lot of help," i hug my mom and shake hands with mason's friends.

after they leave, mason walks up to grace.

"i love you so much, sweetpea," he hugs her tightly, "i'm moving into my new place in two weeks and then you can stay with me for a few days, yeah? you can help me decorate your room."

grace nods. "daddy said i could facetime you every day."

"anytime you want." he smiles at her and i can tell he's on the verge of crying. "be good, okay? i'll see you soon, sweet girl."

grace hugs him one more time and then mason walks over to me.

"tyler, i just wanted to tell you again that it's okay," he says this more to himself than to me i think, but i listen anyway, "i'm not mad at you and i hope you know that. all i ever want is for you to be happy. i'm still here for you whenever you need a friend. i will always love you, okay?"

i step forward and hug him, cherishing the last moments here with him, "i love you, too."

-

when we pull into josh's driveway (which i guess is my driveway too now), josh puts the car in park and turns to look at grace.

"now, grace, there's two surprises for you in here. before we start unpacking, do you want to come with me and see what they are?"

grace's eyes light up. "surprise? yes! yes, yes, yes!" she unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out of the car.

josh gets out and leads her to the door while i trail behind them, watching the interaction unfold.

when we step inside, i'm just as surprised as grace is. when josh told me he got her flowers, he didn't tell me it was a professional arrangement in a vase i can tell he hand painted.

grace gasps when she sees it. there's sunflowers, daisies, baby's breath, and several other flowers blooming out of a white vase that he's painted with a kaleidoscope of colors.

"thank you, mr. dun! it's so pretty, i love it!" she hugs him and then goes to look closer at it, smelling the flowers and running a finger across one of the petals.

"i'm glad you love it." he beams at her, almost literally exuding a warm glow. "are you ready for the second surprise?"

"yes! yes, please!" she rocks back on her heels and i can tell she's trying to be as patient as she can.

"alright, would you mind coming to the back door with me then?" he holds his hand out and she takes it gladly.

"is it outside? is it more flowers?"

"not quite." he opens the backdoor and whistles once and jim comes running inside, his tail wagging. "this is jim."

"WHAT?!" grace gets down on her knees and lets jim smell her, petting him with the biggest smile on her face that i've ever seen. "i get to live with jim?! i forgot you had a dog!!"

"well, now he's our dog."

i walk over to josh and kiss his cheek, taking one of his hands. "thank you, josh."

"thank you, mr. dun!" grace repeats, laying on the floor now and giggling as jim licks her face.

"you can call me josh when we're at home," he tells her, "or mr. dun if that's what you want." he leans down to pet jim next to her. "i don't want you to think i'm ever going to try to replace your dad. that's not my intention at all. i just want you to be comfortable since i know this is a lot of change for you. so you can call me whatever you want and don't be afraid to ever ask me anything or talk to me, okay? this is your home now and you should be able to be yourself."

"thank you." she sits up and hugs him again. "does this mean i get all a-pluses in art now?"

"you already do. you're a very talented young lady."

she giggles and stands up all the way. "one more question. can i see my room?"

"of course." josh leads her to her new room, which is completely empty, "i figured we should paint before we bring the furniture in but i forgot to ask what color you wanted. we'll have to pick some up."

"i can start unloading while you guys go grab it. just take my car," i offer, already fishing my keys out of my pocket.

they head off after josh makes sure grace is comfortable riding alone with him and i start unloading boxes. i'm so glad he's so nice to her and i'm so glad she loves him already. it takes so much weight off my back knowing that everything will be okay in that area.

i get quite a few boxes in by the time they get back and they waste no time getting started on her walls.

they paint and talk and laugh and i watch from the doorway, feeling tears burn behind my eyes. this is what it should have been all along. this is what those songs and movies were about. this is love. more than that, this is fulfillment, this is what it's like to be whole.

this is peace.

(an: if you wanna find love then you know where the city is, as matty healy said. anyway, this has like 2 chapters left. hope you enjoyed this one!!)