the city // joshler

21

tyler's point of view

it takes me an hour to move from the couch after mason leaves. i pick up my phone, my hands shaking.

i have a missed call from josh, and a few texts from him as well.

josh: are you okay?

josh: mason just came to my house and told me what happened

josh: are you alright? do you want me to come get you?

i decided to just call him back, bringing the phone to my ear and waiting for him to pick up.

"hello? tyler?" his voice is calming me down a bit already.

"hey, j. i-i saw your texts and stuff so i was just, um, calling you back."

"are you okay?" he asks, his voice soft and warm like a nice blanket in this big, empty house.

"a bit nauseous. been crying. i'm all alone here." i feel tears burning behind my eyes again and i bite my lip. "it's like... officially over."

"i know, love. i'm sorry," he pauses and i hear him shuffling around. "i'm gonna come get you, okay? we can get you some food and you can stay with me tonight, yeah? i don't want you to be alone."

"okay." i close my eyes. "thank you, josh."

"anytime, angel. i'll see you soon."

-

within fifteen minutes, i hear a knock at the door. i grab my bag and open it to see josh standing there with a paint stained shirt and an expression i can't quite read. before i can say anything, josh wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.

and in this moment, i feel so overwhelmed by how much i love him, and how much he loves me. i can feel it in my bones, in my chest. the soft, pure feeling of home that i keep coming back to and can't otherwise explain.

"i love you," is all i can say and he pulls away to kiss my lips once.

"i love you more." he takes the bag out of my hands. "let's go get you some food."

i just nod and follow him to his car. he opens the door for me and puts my bag in his backseat before he climbs in himself. once he's pulled out of my driveway, he speaks again.

"what do you want to eat, hun?"

"i dunno. i don't really care."

"taco bell?"

"okay." i nod. i'm starving. i think it's why i'm nauseated, i haven't eaten since lunch.

"alrighty." he puts one hand on my thigh and i take it in my own hands, squeezing it. josh smiles a little.

"the set looked really good tonight," i say, trying to make conversation, to take my mind off of everything as best as i can, even if for just a moment.

"thank you." he smiles a little wider. "i couldn't have done it alone for sure. grace did great with her solo."

"didn't she? i'm so proud of her." i sigh, "she's getting so big."

"where is she tonight?"

"my mom's house. my mom absolutely spoils her. told her she could have ice cream for breakfast for doing so well in the musical."

josh laughs a little. "good for her."

"i don't know if i'll get custody or not. i don't even know what furniture is mine anymore." i look down at my lap. "i just know i can't stay in that house after it happens."

"you can stay with me, ty." he pulls into the taco bell and looks over to me. "kinda hoped you would anyway, but you don't have to. we can talk about all that later. what do you want to eat?"

once we order and receive our food, we drive to josh's house. i think about what he said on the drive back, about me living there.

when we arrive, we come in to eat at the kitchen table.

"so, mason came here?" i take a sip of my drink. "what did he say?"

"well, he was just telling me that you two were separating but that he wasn't mad at you. he said he wanted you to be happy and if i'm what that takes then he would learn to be okay with it. he also said if i hurt you, he'd break all my bones."

"he wasn't mad?"

"not at all."

i let that knowledge sink in. i try to take it to heart. it's comforting knowing he doesn't blame me, that he isn't mad.

"i figured he'd hate me."

"it's hard to hate you, tyler." josh offers me another small smile. "especially after loving you for so long."

the conversation dies out as we finish eating.

i clear my throat and gesture to his shirt. "so, what were you painting?"

he looks down at it. "oh, just some abstract stuff. colors and shapes or whatever."

"can i see?"

"always."

we throw our trash away and he leads me to his art room. the painting on the easel is breathtaking. it has grays and blues and greens and reds swirled into different waves of colors. it's freckled with brown dots and intentionally smudged in certain areas.

"it's beautiful, josh." i lean my head on his shoulder.

"thank you," he pauses and then turns to look at me. "you're even more beautiful."

i shake my head. "always a charmer."

he brings both of his hands up to each side of my face and holds me there, looking at him. "i mean it. you're the most beautiful thing i've ever seen, tyler. i could spend the rest of my life painting you and never get bored."

"oh, whatever." i feel a blush rise in my cheeks and see josh smile.

"there it is, see? ethereal." he leans down and kisses me then, his lips gliding against mine like that's where they belong, because it is.

it's everything i've ever wanted and in that moment, everything feels okay again.

"i love you, tyler."

"i love you, joshua."

(an: i am in deep pain 😀 being an author is hard because i am in physical pain with how much i want that. its so warm and soft and pure. GOD! anyway i hope you guys enjoyed this sweet little filler bc the book is almost over and this was almost a completely different chapter like different pov and everything)