Until I see you again

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"You ready?" Xavier's voice pulls me into reality. We are standing outside the church, Joan's lifeless body has already been carried in and all I have to do is walk through these church doors and face the music. Xavier's question is probably the most dumbest question to ask in this particular situation because I don't think I'd ever be ready to go and say my final goodbyes to the woman who raised me when my own mother wouldn't.

"That was probably a dumb thing to ask you," I forgot about his mind reading abilities. "I just want you to know, I'm going to be with you from now till you go home. You won't have to do this alone." I look up at him, a small smile forms on my lips, as tears begin to build up in my eyes. I slip my arm through his before we enter the church together. All of Sommereast's residents are sat in the pews; the sight warms my heart. I spot Fran, Josh, Lillian and Sophia sat all in the same row, and they show supportive smiles. From the staff members and students of the primary and secondary school, to the people who run the market stalls every weekend - everyone is here to send Jo off to a better place than this crabby planet we call Earth. I take my seat next to Daphne on the front row, exchanging no words or looks. Today isn't about our broken relationship - it's about Joan.

The service begins, as we sing one of Joan's favourite hymns. I would be lying if I said seeing Xavier singing songs about God wasn't a little weird, yet cute at the same time. There is a poem read out by Daphne, a song sung by the Primary school kids, and several stories about Joan. Fran reads her eulogy, and soon enough, it's my turn to close the send off.

"Lastly, we will be hearing from Ziayn Xu, a friend of Joan's." The Reverend speaks. I inhale and exhale a few deep breaths before standing to my feet and making my way to the rostrum. I take out my sheet of paper with what I thought want to say scribbled down on it. I lie it in front of me, but in my heart I know it's not what I want to say at all.

"I remember my first night staying with Joan. My biological parents were doing what they do best - being really rubbish parents - and they had left us with Jo for the night. She would teach us how to bake cookies and make a mean spaghetti bolognese. When my sister would drift off to sleep, Jo would always show me her jewellery collection that she inherited from her Grandmother. The jewellery was so beautiful, and when Jo put it on, she looked like a queen. For days I would draw the jewellery and give the pictures to Jo and to this day, she has kept every single one of them. Jo was more than my friend. She was my mum, my mentor, my confident, the shoulder I would cry on, the woman who took us in when we had nothing. She encouraged me to chase my dreams, take risks, live dangerously sometimes! She was everything to me and to so many of us sat here today. Until I see you again Jo, is goodbye. I love you so much Jo. I love -" I choke up, breaking down. My strength was no match for the salty tears. I feel a presence besides me, their arms secure themselves around me, guiding me away from the rostrum. I feel the wooden pew underneath me, and I try to sob quietly. The same presence embraces me in to a hug, allowing me to cry into their chest. The smell of familiar cologne tells me who it is straight away. The last hymn is sang, before everyone is told to make their way to the cemetery. Xavier and I don't bother to leave with everyone else, the two of us sit in silence in the once full church.

"You always seem to be there when I need you the most," I fill in the quietness. Xavier lets out a little chuckle at my statement.

"Just think of it as repayment for everything you did for me." He replies. I dry my eyes as best I can, somewhat ready to take on the burial. As we walk out the church and turn the corner to the cemetery, I do something I know I will regret. I take Xavier's hand, intwining my fingers with his.







"Right, Josh and Lillian, my bed is yours. There is a blow up bed in there too, so rock paper scissors between Fran and Xavier who gets it. I'll take the settee, of course. Snacks are in the fridge - and please eat them before I leave tomorrow!" I say, laughter fills the room. It was Fran's idea to host one last sleepover before departing from my livelihood tomorrow. After this morning, being surrounded by the people I hold so close to my heart is a brilliant idea. 

"Paper beats rock! Enjoy sleeping on the floor Xavier Bright!" Fran prances around a defeated Xavier, Lillian in hysterics at the sight.

"Best of three!" Xavier is pleading, by Fran denies his request. I finish making the last cup of tea, plating up a selection of biscuits for us to have with our hot beverage, Josh joins me in the kitchen.

"What's it like seeing your past and future in the same room?" He asks me and I shoot him a confused look. My past and future? In the same room? Am I missing something?

"Past friends and future love," Josh explains it for me, pointing at Fran, himself and Xavier.

"Xavier is not my future love Josh - you and I both know that." I scoff, trying to keep my voice down so no one would hear us.

"Don't think I didn't see you two holding hands today! Give up the ghost Zi and just get with the guy already!" Josh nudges me, causing me to smile. Josh wasn't wrong. Josh is never wrong.

We leave the kitchen, joining the others who are still trying to choose a film to watch. The three of them going back and forth from genre to genre is actually quite amusing. Josh hands out the biscuits and I give everyone their tea (or if you are Fran, spiced Chai).

"Ziayn, you choose the film because we clearly can't," Lillian sighs. I sit in front of my collection, my eyes closed.

"Someone pick a number from one to hundred," I call out.

"Ten." Josh answers. My fingers count the films up to ten, my eyes opening when I land on the chosen film.

"Tangled. We're watching Tangled." I say, an uproar of laughter surrounds me. This is Daphne's favourite Disney princess. I'll have to ask Fran to give it back to her.

"The selection box of films has spoken - Tangled will be the film we watch." Xavier says, and there are no objections. I put the movie on, everyone else gets comfortable as it begins. I scoot myself between Fran and Xavier on the floor, while Josh and Lillian take the settee. This is the best send off a girl could get.

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