Wrong Words

Chapter 19. The sad flashback.

Parents... a word with great significance. How would you describe your parents? Indifferent, protective, loving? There isn't only one word that can describe them, because both of our parents are different from each other. 

For example, my mom is here while my dad is gone. So I can't describe the word "parents" since they are separated.

What if they come close again? Can I describe them in one word? The answer is no because they are different as human beings.

I exhale and save the article, but I don't publish it on the school site yet. I sigh, looking at the half-open door of my room.

My dad is back... he won't be staying long, though. After he told me he would be here for the weekend, I forgot everything. I entered the house and yelled for my mom until she came in her pajamas to the living room. 

We fought, something we don't do, often unless it is a discussion about my father. After many yelling and cries, my cries, I went to my room and locked myself in there.

Until I woke up this morning. Why does he re-enter my life? Why does my mom let him enter our house without asking me? Nobody asks me what I want anymore.

 "Joanna, come for breakfast," my mom's voice makes me turn off the laptop and get out of bed.

Exhaling, I approach my closet, looking around for a dress. My dad hates dresses so I have to wear something that he won't like.

 I find a simple gray dress with long sleeves, and I smile as I take it out of the closet, ready to wear it.

***

I go downstairs and hear my parents talking in the kitchen, but I can't understand what they are saying. I stop at the door and take a deep breath.

 My father sits at the table with his back turned on me, while my mom is next to the sink with her classic mug in her hands.

My mom smiles when she sees me, and that makes my father turn around to face me. A smile spreads on his wrinkled face and what I notice is that his teeth have started to turn white again.

"Good morning, teddy bear," his eyes looks at my face. As I go to sit across from him, I feel his eyes on my outfit.

"Do you like what I'm wearing, Dad?" I ask with false excitement and a fake smile.

"It's ... an interesting choice," he says, lowering his head above his breakfast.

"Don't lie. Just say you don't like it," I snap at him.

"I like it, my daughter."

"I know you, dad, you hate dresses," I say and start eating my cereal.

"I'm not the same person I was two years ago," he says, and I feel his gaze on me.

"I want to believe you, dad. I want it very much, but ...." I stop when that night comes to my mind that I will never forget. The night I was in danger because of him.

"But you will never forget what happened that night," he says and nods his head as if he understands.

I feel my mom sitting next to me and holding my hand. "My Joanna, we are all trying for the best. Your father is trying to change," she says, but I keep looking at my father.

I notice his face. How much has he changed? Tired, with wrinkles and hair that has turned white in some places. He also has some scars on his face.