Ruined ✔

Kabanata 21

I STEPPED backwards afterwards and gave him a chuckle. "Stop comforting me with lies. I'm so tired of it Landon."

He shook his head immediately. He reached me out again and planted several kisses above my palm. "I am not joking here Arisha. Heck, I don't even know when I started to feel this way! I just know that it hurts me seeing you in pain. Baby—"

"Leave..."

"Arisha—"

"Leave now Landon... please?" I murmured breathlessly.

Saglit niya akong pinakatitigan. I stared back at him. I didn't need someone with me right now. I wanted to be alone because why would I still crave for someone when my fate was to be lonely?

I was now alone starting today. Walang-wala nang natira para sa akin. Si Lolo na tanging kinakapitan ko na lang ng lakas ay nawala na rin.

Tell me, was there a reason for me to live again? The last candle of light I was holding was already blown away. All I could see now was pure darkness.

Landon gave me one long kiss on my hand before he gently squeezed it. If only we were in a different situation, I'd be surely jumping in joy right now. But that was not the case. It would never be.

"I'll be back. I'll just buy you food," paalam niya bago tuluyang umalis.

My eyes darted to my grandfather. Nanubig muli ang aking mga mata. The pain constricting inside of my chest proved that this was real... that Lolo was now gone and I wasn't just dreaming. I heaved a sigh and went to his side. I caressed his sleeping face for the last time before giving him a peck of a kiss on his forehead.

"Sleep Lolo," my voice croaked.

Lumabas na ako ng kaniyang silid at bumungad sa akin ang namumulang mga mata ni Gandara. He gave me a comforting smile and I just nodded at him. Sinamahan niya akong ilakad ang mga dapat gawin para sa labi ni Lolo. Landon returned as what he said and helped us but I remained quiet all the time.

Isang gabi ko lang pinalamayan si Lolo at kinabukasan niyon ay agad ko ring ipinalibing sa sementeryo. Wala naman akong ibang aasahang kamag-anak na dadalaw sa kaniya kaya't para saan pang patagalin ko ang lahat?

Gandara and Landon stayed with me 'til Lolo's coffin slowly swallowed by the soil. Magdamag na tikom ang aking labi at walang pakialam sa paligid. Ang isip ko'y naglalakbay pero wala namang magandang pinatutunguhan.

Tapik sa balikat ang muling nagpabalik sa akin sa reyalidad. Napatingala ako at nakita si Gandara'ng nakadungaw sa akin. "Atey, una na ako dahil malapit nang lumubog ang sun."

Tumango ako at nanghihinang tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo. Binigyan niya ako ng huling yakap. "Salamat sa lahat Gandara. Ingat ka sa pag-uwi."

"Ikaw rin Atey. Uwi ka rin pagkatapos mo rito ha?" Tumango na lang ako at pinagmasdan siyang mawala sa paningin ko.

Muli akong umupo sa tabi ng puntod ni Lolo at niyakap ang mga tuhod bago doon ipinatong ang baba.

"Umuwi ka na rin. Hindi ko kailangan ng kasama," pantataboy ko kay Landon na kanina pang nakaupo sa aking likuran.

"I will not leave you alone here."

"I don't need someone."

"I know you do. I've been there Arisha."

Marahan akong napangiti, "Right. Now I know how you feel when Brianna died."

"Best friend mo siya, alam kong nasaktan ka rin nang sobra noon," agap niya.