Golden

18 - Fiasco

Her own fans turned on her. Even the most dedicated ones, those she met multiple times and would see their faces in the crowd almost every night. That was hard enough on its own, and she had no idea how she was going to recover from this. What can she say to justify her selfish choices? She hurt the people who supported her through thick and thin, those who stood up for her when she couldn’t do so for herself. Now, there is no one that will speak up for her; not that she deserves it, anyway. Then, when Perrie was already feeling herself be on the edge of a break down, the very same people who sent her death threats found a new target: Jade. 

Jade was blamed for every single one of Perrie’s wrong actions. It was unfair in every way, and if Perrie’s fans actually knew their idol, they would have known Perrie does nothing according to anyone else’s rules. All of her decisions, bad as they were, were hers. Her fans, however, were blinded by their admiration, and the version of Perrie they created in their heads would never do something all like this. So, in conclusion, they needed someone else to blame, and Jade was the obvious candidate. They went on and on about how toxic they think Perrie’s relationship with Jade was, how she was using Perrie for money and recognition, and how she changed her. Every decision that has, in reality, been made by Simon, was credited to Jade, as if she actually had that much influence and power over Perrie’s career. Perrie felt like her whole world was collapsing the day she broke up with Jade, and ever since then, she hasn’t found firm ground to stand on, or even something to hold onto. She tried calling Jade all morning, but it seems like her phone is either off or she changed her number. As she sits on her bed and stares at her phone through the tears, Perrie has no idea what to do. She has no one she feels like she can call. 

She is going through her contacts, again, when there is a knock on the door. 

“Hey,” Alex says in his usual slightly embarrassed tone that he uses whenever he talks to Perrie as a friend, and not as an employer. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to ask if there’s anything you’d like me to get you.” The gesture is enough to make Perrie crack a smile. Alex is a true ally, even though it’s his job to spend time with her. He has always been there for her when absolutely no one else was. 

Life has been tremendously hard for Perrie for a while now. She needs an escape, and when Jade isn’t around, there’s only one way she knows all too well to numb her pain.

“Could you get me a bottle of wine, please? Red, the kind that I like,” she requests. She feels extremely guilty, and she knows that she is only making things worse, but how else is supposed to handle everything that’s been going on? To Perrie’s surprise, Alex doesn’t leave. He keeps standing there, looking at her patiently, and when she asks him what’s wrong, he tells her that he won’t be getting her a bottle of wine, because she worked hard to get sober. 

This is the point where Perrie loses it. She screams at him the way she never did before, about how he is the one working for her, and if he gets paid as much as he does, he might as well do his fucking job. Everything she has been holding back since she last saw Jade, how incredibly angry she has been at herself, and the world, is taken out on Alex. It has been important to her ever since day one to treat her employees, especially her security team, with respect, but right now, all hell breaks loose. When Perrie finally goes silent, Alex, who hasn’t said anything this whole time, speaks. 

“It’s my job to keep you safe. If I can’t do that, I’d rather quit,” he genuinely tells her. These words touch Perrie’s heart, and she instantly regrets the way she just treated her closest bodyguard. All she needed to hear was that someone cares about her, that it’s important for one person she stays safe. The most important people in her life can’t look her in the eye anymore, but how did she forget about Alex? He can be enough, for now. She needs to get lost in someone else to forget her own problems, she needs comfort and safety from someone who truly cares. She kisses Alex’s lips, because he is that person to her, and has been since she can remember. Her tears stain his cheeks, but he doesn’t seem to mind as he just kisses her back softly. 

Perrie already knows how this is going to turn out. It will be another failed love story that started from an unstable place and never made it anywhere else. One of many. It’s not what she needs right now, it might even be the last thing she needs right now. She is stupid for feeling the way she does about someone that works for her, she is perfectly aware of that, but did she ever make a right choice in her life? Maybe Alex will make her forget about Jade. Perhaps he will make the public forget about Jade, what could finally make everyone that’s attacking her leave her alone. Perrie still has a long journey until she can regain her fans’ trust again, but showing that she has moved on might just be the start of it. As long as she can protect Jade, she doesn’t mind hurting Alex. If Jade would have been here, Perrie knows exactly what she would have said. She would have told Perrie to release a statement, take responsibility for her actions and say that Jade had nothing to do with it. She would have told Perrie to explain that while she was physically okay all this time, her mental health was at its worst and that’s why she needed to cancel so many public appearances. It is the truth, and soon enough, she will be forgiven.

Jade could solve this situation better than anyone in Perrie’s PR team. Perrie understands that this is a brilliant plan, it’s the one that going with will be the right thing to do; but since when is she choosing the long, bright road over the short, dark one that she can never correctly guess the ending of? She makes a decision, one that’s meant to protect Jade in the quickest way, even if that includes hurting Alex in the process; it’s the price she is willing to pay. She chooses Alex.