"A lot of therapy has happened, and a lot of understanding and growth. Sometimes you have to go through all this shit to get your grips on life and figure out what the next boundaries in your love life are going to be. You have to go through the mud in order to find that peaceful place. In the long run, it was necessary for me to have more of a teammate." Katy Perry about her relationship with Russell Brand.
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Ever since that night she had that horrible fight with Perrie, Jade has been finding it incredibly difficult to sleep. Once again, she is lying in her bed, and replays that scene in her mind. Regardless of anything else, she wants Perrie to be happy, and she doesn't think true happiness can last without health and safety. However, Jade reminds herself that not once did Perrie ask for her help. She wanted a partner, someone who is brave enough to face the struggles of life with her, not a saviour. While Jade cares about Perrie's well being, after a week of not talking to Perrie at all, she accepts that it is not her role to fix Perrie's life. Even though that feels wrong and lazy, she is willing to do try to get used to that, if that means she's going to have Perrie with her. Just like a routine, she reaches for her phone and starts typing out an over emotional text to Perrie, then deletes it and tries rewording it, and then just types in an impersonal question about how she's doing, and almost hits send, but she doesn't.
Instead, she puts her phone down, and tries to close her eyes, but anxiety creeps in again. She checks her phone one more time, makes sure her alarm is set for tomorrow, then puts it back on the nightstand. Like every night, this is when she tries her hardest to fall asleep, but every noise makes her heart race in her chest and everything has a negative affect on her. The sound of cars driving down the street, people chattering, these are all keeping her alert. Jade is absolutely sure she is imagining it when it sounds like the elevator in the building opens at her floor. It's quiet, so every little movement can be heard, and since she doesn't remember inviting anyone to her house, this is getting a bit scary. She picks her phone back up and turns on the flashlight when a very quiet knock on the door is heard, so gentle it's almost unnoticeable. She always double checks if the door is locked before she goes to bed, so she doesn't grab anything but her phone when she makes her way there. She looks through the peephole with tired eyes, and is shocked to see Perrie awkwardly standing there.
A wave of emotions washes over Jade, and it's almost impossible twisting the key in order to unlock the door. She missed Perrie like crazy and genuinely didn't know if Perrie wanted to speak to her again, so seeing her is a huge relief. At the same time, though, everything about this situation is alarming. Why would Perrie show up at her door like that, in the middle of the night? It must be bad, Jade knows it. She unlocks the door and can't help the honest smile on her face as she sees Perrie standing right in front of her, and is extremely relieved when Perrie pulls her into a hug. It's like for one moment, she can forget about all her fears and worries, and about the terrifying questions that the future holds. For as long as Perrie holds her, she is in her arms and nothing more.
"I'm sorry about what I said that night. I just want what's best for you, but I trust you in making this kind of decisions on your own," Jade whispers into Perrie's ear as they continue holding onto each other. She doesn't really want to apologize, but there is nothing she wants more than to make things with Perrie right again. They have always found each other's touch immensely comforting, and it is exactly what they both need. It's a private moment between the two of them. Not only because Alex is waiting outside in the car, and there is no one there who physically watches them. This moment is private because it is real and honest in the way that they could not explain to anyone else. It's like everything they have been through, the highs and the lows, the flirting and the fighting, every piece of history they have is condensed into right this minute.
YOU ARE READING
Golden
FanfictionJade Thirlwall has spent the last few years looking up to Perrie Edwards. She is the one who inspired Jade to study music production, and has helped her in ways she will never know; or at least that's what Jade thought. Under the most unexpected cir...
