The Beauty in Eternity

Chapter 88.

I take a breath in and compose myself. "I have a lot of respect for you, Elijah—and I understand that you don't want to be around me right now but what you did tonight was wrong. You could have at least told someone you weren't coming, instead of making all of your friends wait around for an hour in hopes that you'd show up. I understand that I hurt you but I was hurting too. I will not take that, Elijah—and I sure as hell won't let our friends take that." I clear my throat. "Now, goodnight. I suggest you apologise to our friends."

As I end the call I don't have one ounce of guilt for what I said. I have walked on eggshells around Elijah ever since our breakup, but there comes a time where tough love is exactly what the doctor ordered.

——————

I open my eyes to a bitterness filling my bedroom, the temperature outside having dropped drastically from the night before—perfectly mirroring my mood.

I feel the familiar hollowness in my chest. I tilt my head to the side, my eyes landing on the calendar pinned to the wall.
March 3rd—Carol's birthday. 

I sit upright, peeling my eyes from the date beside me and dial the number. "Hello," the little voice answers.

"Hey, baby," I say, hearing her bringing a small piece of warmth to my heart. "How was breakfast?"

Each year on her birthday they have pancakes and hot chocolate for breakfast, Carol's favourite. "Good," she answers. "Mom would have liked it."

I nod slowly at her response. "Yes, she would have. Are you okay?"

"I'm a little sad, I miss mom a lot." she tells me, the sadness in her voice making my lip quiver.

I sigh. "Me too, Iz."

"Do you want to speak to dad?"

"Yes please—put him on."

"Hey, sweetheart." Steve answers, sounding just as broken as he does every year.

"Hey. If you need me today just call, okay? I can take the girls for an hour or come help around the house if you need it."

"You have work, Mar. But I'll be okay." he tells me in what I can only assume is his most convincing tone.

"The hospital won't burn down without me," I assure him. "If you need me—call."

"I will. I promise," he sighs. "Are you okay today?"

I pause at his question. I don't have the energy to lie today, and even if I did, the question is really rhetorical. "I'll make it through the day." I tell him, a realistic response.

"I love you, Amara. Don't stress yourself out at work today, okay? Everyone will understand."

"I love you too," I tell him. "Give my love to Dahlia, and give them both a kiss from me."

"I will. Talk later."

As we end the call I let out a long breath. I always feel so lonely on her birthday, it's so much harder than any other day. Although really, it isn't. It's just harder to ignore.

—————

"Doctor Woods, I really don't want to do SKUT today." one of my interns babbles as I walk through the doors.