His Girl

Chapter 10

I watched him drive off. He was the only relatively nice one in Deacon's crew. When he was around the other men, he acted just like them. But when it was just him, he was different. I would take advantage of the niceness, but I knew I couldn't trust him.

I couldn't trust any of them.

Not wanting to head into the school yet, I veered off to the side where the football and track fields were. There was a tree that I usually sat under whenever I had free period. I just needed a minute of peace before I had to go into school and be surrounded by people.

My gaze focused on the ground, I didn't notice someone was in my spot until it was too late to turn around.

"Emerson, hey." Sawyer stood up from where he sat and waved. I bit my tongue and forced a smile.

"I've been meaning to catch you." I inwardly cringed. I knew exactly where this was headed. He rubbed the back of his neck as he continued. "I was wondering, um, maybe, if you, um, wanted to go do something with me next Saturday?"

"Hey Sawyer. Actually, I can't. I have something going on then. Sorry"

His face reddened. "Oh, ok." I felt awful for turning him down, but I knew I couldn't. Even if I was interested, if Deacon even found out, Sawyer would disappear, and I would suffer so much punishment that I didn't even want to think about.

From across the field, I saw Harper waving at me.

"... for you?"

I realized that while I was thinking, Sawyer had been saying something to me.

"I-I'm sorry, w-what?"

"Well, I mean," he paused, "I was just wondering since you said you couldn't do anything this Saturday, when is good for you?" His hands twitched by his side.

"I-I c-can't. I ha-ha-have to g-g-go. Bye." And without looking back, I turned tail and ran.

"What's going on between you and Sawyer?" Harper asked, grinning slyly as she waved at the dejected Sawyer behind me.

I shook my head. "N-nothing's going on.

She scoffed. "Well, it should." I just rolled my eyes.

"Come on, let's just go." I adjusted my bag on my shoulders before nodding towards the school.

"Ugh, fine." Harper groaned as she followed behind me. "But if you don't get on that, someone else will." She wiggled her eyebrows. "Maybe even me."

I just rolled my eyes and kept my mouth shut as I shuffled into the school.

I kept walking as Harper went on and on about Sawyer, and his hair, and his eyes, and his body, and on and on and on. I listened all of two seconds before tuning her out.

She might be my best friend, really one of my only friends, but sometimes it seemed like she never stopped talking. But I didn't mind; her jabber made up for my lack of. And most times, it was nice to listen to someone else talk instead of my thoughts running a loop in my head.

You are nothing. You are worthless. No one loves you, and no one will ever love you. You are nothing. You. Are. Nothing.

My footsteps faulted. I realized that, in the rush to get out of the house, I had forgotten to take my medicine. In fact, I hadn't taken it the past couple of days. One of his men forgot to pick up my refill.

"No no no no." I mumbled. Shaking my head, I held my temples, willing the voices to dissappear.

I heard people around me, but everything was a blur- the noise, the movement, everything. I tried to squirm out of the hands touching me, but they wouldn't stop.

"... know... just stopped... panic..."

The world wouldn't focus as I felt myself being pushed towards the front office. I didn't have control over anything, and I could feel my entire body shake.

"... someone in the office... her uncle... see her... now"

I could vaguely here the conversation around me. Uncle? I didn't have an uncle. What were they talking about? Then I realized:

Deacon had told the school he was my guardian because he was my uncle.

No, not now. This couldn't be happening. I could feel something wet on my face as my panic attack got worse.

"No no no no no," I moaned, as the hands dragged me closer and closer towards the office, and to certain punishment.

Deacon hated any weakness, so any time I showed any it was "taken care of", swiftly. Unfortunately, the punishments always seemed to make my attacks worse.

"Please," I sobbed, "please, no. No no no." I tried putting my feet down to stop, but my muscles felt like jelly as I was drug closer to the oak door that I knew read "administration".

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head. I suddenly felt light-headed and nauseous, as if I would pass out any moment. I needed to breath, but couldn't seem to get any air past my throat.

"In here." The hands holding me shoved me towards a windowless room. I stumbled, but was able to steady my footing enough to grip the door handle.

I choked back a sob as I pushed open the door and shuffled inside on my jelly legs, tensing in anticipation of the pain and torture I knew I was about to receive.

I kept my eyes on the carpet, my head spinning, as I walked in and shut the door behind me.

I stood there in silence, waiting for Deacon to say something first.

It felt like an eternity before he spoke.

"Hello, Emerson."

Wait, that wasn't Deacon. That sounded like...

I lifted my eyes from the floor to see him sitting in a chair in the far corner.

"S-S-Silas?"

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