After School

1.26 Carter

September 17, 1946: Lunch

It was hard being someone you were not. But it was also difficult to accept who you truly are. Although, once you fully accept who you are, everything is easy, right?

Perhaps, but Carter wouldn't know. Not yet, anyway. Right now, he didn't want to think about who he truly was. Right now, he just wanted Yuta back. It was all he could think about over the weekend and ever since that.

His wounds had mostly healed, and only a couple of bandages remained plastered over Carter's face and neck. Although, no bandage would ever plug the bleeding in his heart. His heartache was like the music of a great orchestra. At times it was mellow and allowed him to reflect and at other times violins would play and he would drown in the sorrowful melody. Right now there was a rise to the crescendo and anguish burst from his chest in a desperate shout.

As Carter slammed his locker door shut, a whizz of air ruffled his silver hair and he noticed that Yuta had rushed past him. He clutched his black gym bag and stomped towards the pool room, shoving past the scurrying students that scattered his path. No... Carter thought, knowing exactly what he was about to do.

Gloom crept into his soul like rain droplets into bare timber. It seeped into his pores, travelling to his heart which thumped morosely. He blinked back tears, hung his head and stared at the ground. Yuta had boosted his spirits and elevated his being. He lifted Carter out of his former bland self, like a diver rescuing a drowning swimmer. Now, the loss of Yuta sunk him, deep into the bottomless ocean that is his soul. Carter returned to his old self and had to start all over again.

The sudden thought of returning to his old self caused disdain to pulse through him. The thought of having to start all over again caused a bitter taste to form in his mouth. The thought of a life without Yuta deeply terrified him.

Carter jerked his head up and sucked the exuberant atmosphere, replacing it with courage. He decided that he needed Yuta back in his life or else it would be too late. He didn't care if it made him the most selfish person in the world. He did not want to give away the person he needed the most. No one wants to let go of the things they need the most and the things they will need in the future. Isn't that what the sole purpose of being human is? A creature who can't survive without depending on another one of their kind?

"Yuta!" he called, chasing him around the scampering of students that littered the hallway. Yuta heard him but didn't look back. Instead, he hugged his gym bag against his chest and rushed towards the pool room. "Yuta, please! Don't do this!" Carter urgently yelled, ignoring the perplexed looks he was receiving from the students around him.

Yuta pushed the gray door open with his shoulder. "No!" he simply shouted in response, stomping towards the change rooms. The door slammed shut in Carter's face, and he groaned with irritation. He swung the gray door open with an intense heave and trailed after the boy.

The moment Carter stepped inside the pool room, the chlorinated smell of urine knocked his senses. He chose to dismiss the repulsive smell and instead glanced at the water flowing freely in the rectangle-shaped pool. The water shone like a molten mirror, with lights dappling upon its surface. It had lost its turquoise shade due to the gray ceiling of the school, but in the limelight, the murky ripples twisted. It was all the invitation he needed to dive in and leave his troubles bobbing on a swim ring above. Carter shook his head and suppressed the urge to jump in. Right now, he needed the calmness of the frigid currents to prepare him for his confrontation with Yuta.

Yuta entered the change room first and slammed the door shut behind him again, a sign of his annoyance. Carter could tell Yuta did not want him chasing after him, but he entered the humid change room anyway. He turned the corner and saw that Yuta was already packing his swimming equipment. He angrily tossed his items into his black gym bag, which was resting on the benches.