After School

1.25 Josh

September 14, 1946: After school

"Ronald!" Josh called, catching up to his teammate. Ronald had his arms swung around Ryan and Stanley as they walked through the bustling gray corridors of Willesden. "Hey," he said as he approached the boy. He tugged at his red jersey to get his attention, and Ronald finally turned around. "I need to talk to you!" Josh panted, his green eyes wide with hope.

Ronald simply glared at him darkly and walked away without a remark. Josh's face dropped as he stood alone in the middle of the hallway, students scurrying around him. He cast his sullen eyes to the ground and began slowly trudging towards his locker, all hope lost from his soul.

It seemed unfair that no matter how much he strived to be the man his conscience wanted him to be, it would keep taunting him with his failures. Each time his regrets reemerged he would scrutinize them again, hoping that this time his mind would be satisfied with his self professed remorse about Ronald, but it never was. Like an unforgiving spectre, it would be back tomorrow to haunt him again. At this point, he had no idea what to do. Isn't it enough to realize one's mistakes? Does he truly have to apologize to Ronald? He wanted to, but it's not like Ronald would let him. If Ronald could just spare one second and let Josh confess, then perhaps the unforgiving spectre would finally leave him alone.

As Josh pulled out his belongings from his locker, he noticed Yuta absentmindedly wandering across the halls. "Yuta?" Josh called, slamming his locker shut and walking towards the boy. Yuta instantly jolted his head up, as Josh's call snapped him back to reality.

"Hey, Josh," Yuta said, flashing him a shivering smile. Josh nodded and leaned against the lockers they were standing next to while adjusting the straps of his backpack. "Aren't you going to football practice today?" he asked, slumping next to him.

Josh shrugged. "I don't feel like going today," he bluntly replied, not at all fazed about the fact that he was skipping again. Josh had more demanding problems than tossing a football around. Plus, he was confident about the scholarship, especially after what McGurdy told him.

Yuta raised an eyebrow. "Why? Aren't you the captain?" he pointed out, eyeing Josh with concern.

"Of course I am. It's just that Ronald doesn't want to talk to me, so what's the point?" he responded, sighing and gazing into the distance.

Yuta's eyes widened, not at all expecting those words from his mouth. Josh didn't either, as he bit his lip and smacked his head. "What do you mean? Aren't you and Ronald friends again?"

Josh sighed and shook his head. It may have seemed that way during their basketball game, but it truly was never like that. Josh may have made a fool of himself by telling Ronald that, 'he should be team captain' and 'you're a better leader than me' but that didn't stop Ronald from hating him. Josh wasn't mad at the boy for despising him, especially after what he confessed to him during their fight. He just wished he could allow him to talk and possibly sort things out. 

"No. We're not friends. We never will be," he hopelessly muttered.

The strange feeling of regret pounded at his heart ever since he recalled his nostalgic childhood memories with Ronald. He suddenly began deeply wishing to return to that park, which was among trees that had been planted long before their time. He yearned for the extra hours of the June solstice, where the two of them would frolic about the vast plains of the open country, tossing a football around. They would hurtle back from wherever they came before the moon shed its light on them and then awake the next day so they could play again. That was a youth he never wanted to forget, as well as Ronald, who he shared it with.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Yuta kindly asked, peering into Josh's saddened green eyes.

Josh scoffed at him and forcibly narrowed his eyes, so Yuta wouldn't see the remorse. "We're not in middle school. I don't need your guidance," he said, crossing his arms indifferently.