𝕃𝕖𝕘𝕒𝕔𝕪 - 𝔸 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕎𝔸ℝ𝕊 𝕊𝕋𝕆ℝ𝕐

16 - WHERE IS MY MIND?

(Song: Reflection - Jóhann Jóhannsson and Day One - Hans Zimmer)

Kylo kneels before a table. On the table was a mask. Deformed and melted the mask of Darth Vader's looks down on Kylo. He prays to it like it's a symbol of a god.

Darth Sidious. The phantom of her nightmares, and the creature in Kylo's mind, stands on the opposite side of the table. His hand grazes over the mask.

"I will do as you ask," Kylo speaks to it. "Grandfather."

"Good... good Kylo." Sidious praises Kylo.

"See my dear." Sidious turns to look at Mae. "Just like his grandfather. He is powerful and mine. And you will be too."

Mae starts trying to back up and run away. There is no exit.

"There's no one left to save you now. Only I can give you the power to save yourself from the Skywalker curse. Don't you want that? To be normal? To stop this war and save your family?
To bring back your fallen Master?"

Bringing up Ahsoka only made Mae angry. "That's a load of bullshit." She spat. "You may have fooled him, but you will not fool me. Get out of my head!" She turns to talk to the kneeling Kylo.

"Ben, listen to me he's lying to you, he can't give you anything!" Mae begged. "He'll kill you."

Kylo turns his head to face Mae but instead of Kylo's mask, it's the mask of Darth Vader. He lifts his sabre, preparing to strike her down.

"No." Mae cries. Palpatine laughs like a maniac behind him.

Everything goes black. Mae jolts awake. A little sweat covers her forehead. That didn't happen, it's not real. It was just a dream, she tells herself. Palpatine is dead, long dead. She made a promise to herself last night while crying in Caleb's arms.

She will not let herself hate, and she would not be a victim. She'd rather die than fall to the dark side. I will do what I must to keep this promise.

She looks around the room, and to where Caleb was on the bed that night. He isn't there anymore, her heart sinks. Stop it, don't do that. She mentally corrects herself slapping her forehead. Yes, she was allowed to have attachments, that problematic rule was long gone when Luke created the New Jedi Order, but she just couldn't. She couldn't deal with any more attachments, any more people hurt because of her. Not now. She was a curse to the people around her. She was a Skywalker.

Looking over to the clock. It was mid-day. Everyone would be on break having lunch now, soon they would be moving around getting ready for evacuation to the new Resistance base.

Vakna.

These dreams were driving her mad. Just thinking about them makes her start heating up. She feels claustrophobic. Her room feels smaller and everything feels too hot. She has to leave. She can't stand being here anymore in this space prison. She wants to be on Naboo again, by the waterfalls. She wants to stand on the beach and listen to the waves again. She's a burden and a danger to the Resistance. A distraction, a useless extra body, a killer. She had to go.

Standing up holding her side a little, She starts grabbing her things and shoves them into a duffle bag. She changes with some difficulty into some black pants and takes off her sweaty sleep shirt. She put on a new shirt and put her red jacket over top. In the mirror, he takes out her braids and looks at her face. The bags under her eyes show how little sleep she's gotten, a darkness encircles them. She can't look at herself for very long. Turning away she steps into her boots, but she can't reach the laces because of her healing injury, so she just leaves them loose to do up later. She picks up her bag and starts walking toward the door. She stops and grabs Ahsoka's cloak off her bed. She folds it gently and puts it into her bag along with Ahsoka's lightsabers. She stops again. Mum. Pulling out a piece of paper she writes a quick note to everyone.

Keep fighting.
Tell my mum that I love her.
May The Force Be With You All
- Mae Reeves

She decides to leave one of Ahsoka's lightsabers on the table for Caleb since he lost his. She leaves him the longer one. Ahsoka would've wanted him to have it. She trained and helped him too. Quietly without being seen she makes her way over to the hangar with all the ships. She'll 'borrow' one, and get out of there. She knows which one to take.

Quickly running into Ahsoka's open ship and empty ships she detaches it from the fuel line. This one was perfect, it had everything she needed. It was a Corellian G9 Rigger-class. It was equipped with a little cot to rest, a fresher, autopilot and a hyperdrive system, She could even open the hangar door from it. She runs up to the front and sits in the pilot chair. She thinks back to when Luke first taught her how to fly a ship. "Keep it steady, Mae-flower. Just like that. Just breathe. Let the Force help you. It always will."

She puts her hand above the navigator. She stops right above it. Where the hell is she going? She didn't really have a destination in mind. Naboo was home, but the home wouldn't feel like home if she was alone. She was letting all this fear and emotions get to her. She had already broken the promise she had made not long ago. I'm losing my mind. She just wanted to run away from her problems. I'm a horrible excuse for a Jedi... for a Skywalker. Who do I think I am? Where were the people she needed, when she needed them the most? Ahsoka was dead. Ben was a killer. Her mother was gone. Leia was leading a rebellion. Her father was missing without a trace. Even her grandfather who promised to be here wasn't. This must have been how Ben felt. Everyone was gone. She sits there in the seat and closes her eyes. Tears threaten to spill, again. She was so fucking tired of crying. She feels her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She put her hand over her heart where Leia put hers before. She breathes and feels her pulse start to slow down. Taking a deep breath she asks in her mind.

"Help me, please. Anyone."

Nothing. She grabs the blue flower snippet off her lightsaber and holds it firmly in her hands. One more time. Focus harder. She focuses on her breathing. Calming her thoughts. Settling the rising storm of emotions.

I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me. Be with me.

"Mae. We're here." A quiet voice calls back to her. It was Anakin's. They finally broke through. She smiles, tears falling from her cheeks. The voices of other Jedi came to Mae in her desperate moment.

"The answers you seek are out there, Mae."

"Find him, you must."

"Let the force guide you." It was Ahsoka.

"Be brave and don't look back. Don't look back, Mae." Those were Anakin's last words to her before the connection broke.

Mae keeps her eyes closed and lets the hovering hand put in a destination. The Force would be her guide on her new path. It was clear she is not needed in the Resistance. Fighting Ben would only destroy her. She needed to find him. Who was he? Was it her father? Or someone who could help get the answers she desperately needed about her nightmares?

A person came to mind. Not someone she would have thought of first. A Master was known to be alive with knowledge, with first-hand experience of disappearing.

She feels movement behind her, and the door opens. Mae turns to see a hooded figure carrying a large bag. She quickly wipes her tears. The eyes of the person give away who he is.

"What are you doing here?" She stands up and walks towards him. He throws his bag on the ground beside hers. He's panting like he's been running. "Caleb, I'm sorry but I have to go." She holds her hand out on his chest to stop him from moving anymore forward. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into. It's much bigger than the Resistance."

Without a word, Caleb slowly bends down to the ground at her feet. Mae stands there completely confused as he reaches for her shoes. He carefully ties the laces of her boots together then he slowly stands and looks at her.

"Wherever you're going, I'm going too."