Yowzah Oneshot Collection (3)

47(G)

He gives her a message for River Song, tells her to tell this mysterious River that he loves her. And then, just like that, it is over. The Doctor stops talking, stops moving like he hasn't done before. Melody feels a sadness she can't quite explain, but that feels like it has to do with possibilities that are cut off and cannot ever be explored now. And it is strange, but she finds that maybe, she would have liked that.

But she can fulfil his last wish and so she asks her mother who River Song is. Amy's reaction is not a verbal one. Instead she asks the robot to show her this elusive River, because she is "still a relative," whatever that is supposed to mean.

It makes sense when the robot changes, though, but Melody cannot describe her shock at seeing the face that stares back at her when her mother's request is granted. All this time the Doctor has wasted and he only tells her he cares for her - or at least a future version of her who goes by a really stupid name - at the last possible moment.

You should always waste time when you don't have it. Time is not the boss of you. He said that. And he's done a lot of that. But all that time he must have known that he shouldn't die, that there was still a way out of this...

And so she saves him. Amy and Rory assure her that he is worth it and Melody is curious enough to make that sacrifice. She keeps the one she has, but she gives him all of her remaining ones in atonement for almost taking whatever was left of his. And giving his tendency for wasting time, he will need them.

So when in the hospital the Doctor tells her that Rule One is that "the Doctor lies" she lets him entertain that thought; he clearly believes it himself. She is too tired to make much objections to anything, but Melody Pond knows better. His Rule One becomes Rule Two in her own head, because yes, he does an awful lot of lying too. But for her own use she makes a new Rule One for future reference - now that there is a future with the Doctor for her somehow - the Doctor wastes time.

It's hard to argue with the truth of that.

He drops by at her university when she has just finished her third year there and she is looking forward to some time to herself. Much of that isn't given to her, because there he is, on her doorstep, armed with sonic screwdriver and flowers - really? - and dressed in a suit, telling her that he is taking her out to congratulate her on completing her first year. Puzzled she tells him that she has been here for three years already and has seen hide nor hair of him in all that time. He reacts by first looking sheepish and then blaming the TARDIS.

Not that she thinks that his ship is to blame, not after she witnesses first-hand what the Doctor means when he says he's "flying" the TARDIS. He stumbles around the console in what looks like a strange mixture of a new-born giraffe doing its first steps and a bizarre mating ritual on a far-off planet. Even with only flying once, she can see that he does several things wrong and weren't there stabilizers last time?

'This, Melody Pond, is how you fly the TARDIS,' he announces when he parks them with the brakes still on, producing a noise that makes her cringe inside.

'Actually,' she says, 'I go by River Song.' As expected, she is rewarded with a brilliant smile. She does not tell him why she has changed the perfectly acceptable name of Melody Pond into the far more absurd River Song. She doesn't know him well enough - yet - to spill all her secrets to him. After all, she's only met him once and admittedly she had saved his life then - after nearly killing him - so there is a bond, there is something there. What the something is, she isn't sure yet.

The truth is that she wants to become the person the Doctor said he loves - and no, she does not think that was a lie, Rule Two notwithstanding - and so she dropped the name of Melody Pond and created the persona of River Song. At first, River was like a coat she wore that didn't really belong to her, but she has come to love the freedom River gives her, the freedom to choose who she wants to be and gradually, almost without noticing, River goes from being a borrowed coat to a second skin. Now, after three years, she is confident in it. She'll always be Melody Pond underneath, but River Song is who she lives and breathes. River is still a work in progress, but she is getting there. And she hopes to God that River can fly the TARDIS better than the Doctor does.