Yowzah Oneshot Collection (3)

45(G)

          Like Mother, Like Baby

                   hihoplastic

She's running, of course she's running, again, and leaping off tall and/or gravity-less platforms, and generally causing havoc - "An entire Swami Battalion, River, really? Again?" - and he is very much going to have a talk with her - for real this time, not like last time or the time before that where they were going to have a talk and then he got all distracted by hands and tongues and humany things that may or may not have involved a water bed and an accidental blackout in the TARIDS but that isn't the point; the point is that they are going to sit down and have a real-life, linear, super-serious adulty conversation about this habit of hers and the jumping and the landing on him which really, he's beginning to think she does because she likes it and not out of necessity and she's going to stop doing it because there are more important things to think about now - or will be, he isn't sure where she is yet - and she needs to be careful and one of these days he isn't going to be there and she's going to fall--

But then it's all swinging open doors and holding out his arms as she runs headlong off a rooftop and into the TARDIS, nearly knocking him over. Again. And then he's grinning, which he really shouldn't be doing, but she's all big, sultry smile for him and curly hair and sexy smirk as she waves to the stunned soldiers as the TARDIS disappears, and it is extremely hot when she does that, so really he can't be blamed for --

A little bald head peeks out over River's shoulder, big eyes staring at him almost expectantly. River's speaking, her usual 'thank you, sweetie I'm just going to take over now because I fly better than you don't argue you know it's true' spiel but he isn't quite listening even though he does love this part because as River's dusting off her shirt and pants the little green-grey eyes are watching him attentively, followed by the appearance of a little nose and two little cheeks and a big, toothless grin.

And then it squeals joyfully, its little cap falling down over one eye as it tries to bounce in its carrier, and the Doctor baulks.

"River! River, what -- you -- but --"

River straightens, minimising his view of the baby settled in the snugli on her back, and frowns. "Sweetie?"

"Whathaveyoudoneyou'vestolenababy!"

He claps his hands over his mouth.

River stares at him for a few moments, stunned. "Doctor," she says slowly, "You have done Galapagos Seven, yes?"

He glowers at her. "Well of course I've done Galapagos Seven!"

River narrows her eyes and folds her arms across her chest expectantly. He sighs.

"Galapagos Seven - giant turtles and big blue oceans the size of planets and that fire breathing lizard thing - really didn't like him, far too grumpy for the King of All Lava Rock if you ask me - and almost getting eaten by an Ultra-Lion - thank you for that, by the way - and then the St. Darwin of Begalia Hotel and the swimming pool and dance floor and all that other stuff we don't talk about when your parents are around - or at all, really," he grins and straightens his bow-tie, "'cause who wants to talk about it when you can actually do it, eh? In which case you already know what happens if you're referencing it as something important - not that all our adventures aren't important, just this one in particular, had a little side note, not a side note, definitely not a side note, more of a big, giant, neon memo reaching across all of time and space, which means, River, that you have been letting me go on and on in an attempt to distract me from the very obvious fact that that is our daughter you are jaunting around with on your back in the middle of the Swamalioan Third and a Half Empire!"