25 | his starlight

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~ Levi ~

My Starlight.

That is my first thought in the morning when I felt her sprawled all over me, with her long hair all over the place. Her breath fanning in my neck as she had snuggled her face in the crook of my neck with my arm wrapped protectively around her bare skin.

We were tangled around each other beneath the warm comforter on my bed. Nia's shirt always slid up in her sleep and now rested on the curve of her waist, making her lower body bare.

She sleeps without her underwear, something about letting her lady breathe. You don't see me complaining, though.

On playful days, she'd even discard the oversized tee shirt and sleep naked with me.

That's Nia Kasana for you.

This was all new to me. I never slept with a girl before, like, not sleeping on the same bed. I never knew what it was to have a girl wrap around me. I never knew what it was to wake up and met by the sight of a girl in your arms and feel content. Calm. 

Alive.

The only girls that I had spent nights with were my baby sisters when they were afraid after watching a horror movie, or when they fell asleep watching something with me or when they couldn't sleep so they would just come to my room for me to read them to sleep.

Whatever this was with Nia, it's so new to me. But at the same time, we got each other so well that I felt like we had been doing this our whole lives.

I didn't know what it was with her, but she calmed my heart. Her sole presence calms my demons. Just the mere knowledge of the fact that I had her beside me, with me, calmed all those demons I had been fighting since I was a kid.

I've never felt like this before.

Fuck, I had even crossed my heart for the girl. I fucking love her. And I didn't even know how or when that happened.

She barged in my life like a whiplash, faster than a rocket and before I could even warn my heart, it went flying to her like a restless flapping butterfly.

She was smart and strong and stubborn and ambitious and adventurous and lively and angelic and spontaneous. She was so tiny but way too fiery. Just like a little fireball. My fireball.

And she was mine.

Out of millions of guys out there, she chose me. And damn everyone if that doesn't boost my already boosted ego. 

I didn't know how I got so lucky with her.

I believed in love. Of course, I did; there were too many examples in front of me for me not to believe in love, that kind of love that turns your life upside down but you like it that way because the person you love is with you.

But I never thought I would find or even experience something like that. I believed I was way too fucked up for that. 

I am way too fucked up for that.

Hell, I couldn't even sleep peacefully at night. How could I keep Nia at peace when I was not at peace?

My demons were too dark for her, but her light fights them away every. single. time.

I didn't want my darkness to taint her. But I was—am—too selfish to let her go. I will be ruined if I let her go. It was pure agony keeping my hands to myself after knowing how she tasted like, and that was when I'd only kissed her. And then, even though she hadn't had me in her, we were way too deep in. I didn't know what I'll do if she was ripped away from me.

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