[Book 1] What We Have Have To || PeterParker fanfic

Chapter 18 || Lasts

I jolted out of bed, hitting the closed door with my back.

"Woah! Skylar! It's okay, it's okay. It's just me." Peter reassured me but flashes of his angry expression made me press up against the door.

"Stop! Don't touch me!" I yelled at him, sticking out my shaking arm.

Peter froze, holding up his arms.

"I'm right here. I'm staying right here." Peter's eyes widened as he kneeled on the bed.

I touched my ribs as I Peter's foot coming in contact with my body flashed in my mind. Peter watched me sit against the door and I realized I was in Peter's room.

My body relaxed.

"It's not a dream is it?" I said sadly and my eyes stared at his. He shook his head slowly.

"Grayson's gone." I sighed. "His last words were, 'do you think heaven exists'." My voice shook, my tears starting to run again. "Do you think heaven exists." I repeated. "I hope it does." I whispered.

I felt empty. I felt numb.

"Can I come to you?" Peter asked, still holding his body up.

"No." I stated plainly and stood up.

"What's up?" He asked.

"What?"

"Let me hug you. Let me hold you." His face was laced with curiosity.

"Rumlow put me in a simulation." I stared blankly. "I woke up to you choking me out. You beat me. You beat Grayson. And you said things."

Peter looked like he'd seen a ghost. "Skylar you're safe. I would never hurt you." He said softly and I nodded.

"I know. Just give me some time." I sighed and leaned my head back against the door.

After a few moments I stood up straight, walking towards Peter.

I held his face, hands on either side of his head and pressed my forehead against his, frowning when Grayson popped into my memory.

"I know you'd never hurt me." I whispered.

Peter slowly wrapped his hands around my waist.

I let out a shaky breath and leaned down, resting my head on his chest.

"I think I need some time to get myself together."

Peter held me tighter, helping me relax.

"Of course. Take all the time you need."

"No." I sighed. "I need some time to myself."

He stopped moving his hands up and down my back. He held me away from him enough to look at my face. I watched his face relax into despair.

"Are you leaving me?"

The question lingered in the air and I bit my lip, thinking for a while. "I have to. Because I need to put myself together."

Peter looked at me with pleading eyes. "Skylar-."

"I need to pull myself together. And I will fall, so I can't drag you down with me." I gave him a sad smile, rubbing his arms up and down.

"Skylar you won't drag me dow-."

"But I will. Because I'm about to go in today, and it might be a while before I get to see you again."

"What are you talking about?" Peter asked confused.

I sighed and stared at the floor. After today, my life would be fully obligated to SHIELD and the BUDAPEST directive. I would make sure of it.

"You have to let me go." I smiled again, but Peter frowned, shaking his head. "You have to let me go."

"No, please." Peter begged.

"I'm sorry Peter. You're such a good person." I frowned when Grayson popped into my head again. "You deserve so much more." I cupped his face.

"No." He held my hands against the side of his face. "Skylar please don't leave me." He looked at me with a pleading expression.

"Do you want to know?" I gazed into his eyes and his face didn't falter. "I'm going to dedicate myself to SHIELD. Let's face it Peter, my father set me on this path way before I even knew what a gun was. I never had a choice."

"Stop saying had like you're leaving." His voice broke and I hugged him tight. I hadn't expected him to be so affected.

"It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." I stared at him. "Thank you Peter."

I wiped a tear falling from his eye and tried to keep smiling. "I love you." I whispered and pressed my lips against his, savoring the last kiss I'd be getting from him.

I pulled away after a few seconds, Peter leaning in for more.

I looked around, grabbing my things and heading out his door.
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Hudson stayed silent as we walked together, away from MJ's house.

I'd hugged MJ, apologizing for Grayson. She looked destroyed. I talked to her for a while before leaving for the last time, and she explained that she offered Hudson a place to stay for the night.

"Where are we going?" Hudson finally chirped.

"To see Luke."

He didn't say anything else as we reached Luke's place and Hudson followed me up the stairs.

I saw Luke, slouched down next to his destroyed tent, a large tarp covering the tops of it, only reaching between Luke and Elijah's.

I motioned Hudson to stay back as I approached behind Luke. I shuddered, moving past the red stain in the concrete.

"Luke." I called but he didn't move. "Luke I need you to tell me if you saw any symbol, face, insignia, that indicates who took Lucas."

He still didn't move.

"If you're mad at me, fine. I'm sorry. But you don't have to see me again if you don't want to. Just tell me, after you tell me anything about Lucas."

Luke twisted his head, "A skull head atop of tentacles. It was branded in their skin."

I nodded and turned around, starting to walk away.

"I'm sorry Skylar." Luke yelled out and I stopped. "Do you want to know what happened to him?"

I knew he was talking about Grayson. But I figured I knew the same people who took his life.

"No." I responded and left.
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"Come on Skylar say something." Hudson followed after me into our dorm back at the tower and I threw my bag with my things on the bed.

Everyone stared at us.

"Welcome back, something wrong?" Lewis asked, placing his crutches aside.

I saw Hudson shake his head 'no' as a warning to me.

"I'm going to see Fury." I said, leaving the door, no one saying anything else as I left.

I reached Fury's office and saw him on a phone call.

I waited for him to finish and crossed my arms.

"You need something?" Fury asked.

"After my training here is done with SHIELD, I'll do anything. I want you to use me. I'll dedicate my life to SHIELD I don't care. I'll be dedicated."

Fury crossed his arms, narrowing his eye at me. "Should I be worried?"

I shrugged. "My father couldn't do what I'm asking because he had me. But I don't have anything or anyone. So just think," I shifted in my stance, "think of me as an asset you've gained."

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