[Book 1] What We Have Have To || PeterParker fanfic

Chapter 15 || While You Were Gone

I carried Peter into his apartment, his arm slung around my shoulder like a drunk. I quietly let out a held breath when I saw May passed out on the couch with the TV on.

I let Peter sit on his bed with a blank expression on his face as I made my way to his living room where May was. I found a blanket beside her and draped it over her body and turned the TV off.

I walked back to Peter's room and saw him exactly where I left him. He looked lost as I just stared at him.

When he told me who he lost in the alleyway I wanted to throw up. Luke, a small, brilliant, great kid was gone.

I walked toward Peter after closing the door.

"How do you, take this off?" I motioned toward his suit and he slapped his chest, his suit decompressing off his body and falling onto the bed.

"What am I if I can't even protect a child?" He murmured under his breath and his eyes started watering again.

"Don't talk like that." I pulled the suit off him and tossed him clothes to wear. "You did everything you could." I couldn't say anything else because then my voice would break and I couldn't let Peter know that what he couldn't do hurt me too.

He frustratingly put on his clothes and his fists clenched while his knuckles were turned white. As I pushed his suit under his bed.

"Why couldn't I protect him?!" He yelled in frustration and I took it.

I didn't know what to say, because I couldn't say that he couldn't protect everyone. Because that's a pyrrhic answer, it's something he already knows.

"They'll never forgive me." He murmured again, staring at the ground.

I sighed and crouched down, my hands resting on his knees and leaning down to look up at him.

"You are spiderman," I emphasized. "Spiderman is Peter Parker, it is your identity and no one and nothing can take that away from you." The words flowed out as I started ranting. "There will be bumps along the way and no matter how heart wrenching," my voice cracked, "you have to keep going." I breathed out, saying the words desperately. "Because when you give up, the people who look up to you gives up, the lives waiting for you to save them gives up, and that's a huge responsibility, I know. But even I can tell that you're destined to do great things. You've saved amazing lives Peter."

"Not that one." He stared blankly at me and I gave him a sad smile.

"I'll do something about it." I pressed my lips together and started to stand up when Peter took my face and pressed his lips on mine. His lips were soft and I gasped. I missed the feeling and I relished in it as I climbed onto him, sitting on his lap.

"I've missed you." He said in between breaths.

"I've missed you too." I said back.

He sat back onto the bed and twisted our bodies so that he climbed on top of me but I flinched at the harsh contact on my shoulder and my back arched to the side, with me griping at the pain.

Peter frowned on top of me and pulled the shirt of my collar to the side, exposing my bandages on my shoulder.

"What happened?" He asked worriedly, sitting up.

"I've been through hell." I said with clenched teeth and labored breaths.

Once the pain subsided I saw Peter still frowning at me, staring at my shoulder.

"But I'm okay." I said as I struggled to sit up, but Peter helped me.

"You should sleep." I nodded as I climbed off his bed.