butterfly// 5SOS

23

Elijah

"Help!" I screamed, "Help,"

The door burst open, snapping me from my distorted reality. Luke pulled my head to his chest, holding me tightly while Sierra scratched my back.

"You're okay, it's okay," he soothed, "It's okay,"

"I can't... breathe,"

"Big breaths. The hugest one you've ever done,"

"Help,"

Cupping my cheek, he brushed his thumb on it and shushed me, still holding me close.

"They were hurting me again,"

"Oh buddy, I am so sorry,"

"Make it go away,"

I grabbed Sierra's hand and she joined the hug, placing a gentle kiss on my head, just as mum and dad would've. Luke switched the lamp on and tried to sit me up, but I just pulled him closer and continued to sob.

It had been so vivid.

"It's cos I still look feminine, and I sound feminine, and I'll never escape from my assigned gender, and-,"

"Buddy, we're only at the start of this journey. We've not even hit a month since you told your mum and dad, but you're all making progress towards your end goal. Perhaps you don't even know what your end goal is yet in terms of surgeries you may want, or the style you might like, but you'll get there. The start is so tricky, I can see that, but you've been so strong. Things will keep progressing, perhaps with some step backs, but it'll get to a point where you feel confident,"

"That doesn't change that right now I clearly look ridiculous enough for people to beat me up over it,"

"You do not look ridiculous," Sierra said, "You have a great haircut, new clothes, vans... you're trendier than I was as a teen,"

"I just don't get it. You can go back to bed,"

"No, we'll stay. If you don't get something then we need to help you understand,"

"I don't get why they pretended to be my friend, and had me so excited, and let me play football. Why would they do that to just beat me up down an alleyway?"

"Some people are horrible. They think they're above everyone else, and that the consequences won't catch up to them," Sierra said.

"I'm fed up of horrible people," I sniffed, "It's been 14 years,"

"Unfortunately they will always exist, and tend to get what they want, but when you are feeling better you will become stronger than them and rise above it. You'll beat yourself up about making those decisions, but some good came out of it,"

"Like what?"

"You'll grow as a person, and you've become close to all of us... and you've proved to yourself that you can come to the doctors or the dentist and get through it. I'm not saying the experience is positive, I'm saying we can find some small positives in there,"

"I love you guys," I said, hugging them both, "I'm going to sleep now,"

"Okay bud,"

"I didn't mean to wake you up,"

"Don't even think about it,"

I wiped my eyes and he kissed my head, then they tucked me back in and went back to their beds. If I hadn't have been beaten up, I wouldn't have been able to sleep, but my body was so exhausted that it practically melted into the bed and I fell asleep.