BRIGHT LIGHTS OF SEATTLE

FAMILY

I woke up to the empty beach-house, the smell of Jason enriching my pillows. I looked ahead to see the two glass doors ahead of me wide open to the rolling waves of the sea starting ahead of the glowing orange rising glow of the sun. The two white curtain flowing in the breeze framed the door. I walked to in the middle of the door and felt the sweet sea breeze across my lips and skin. 

The moment was bliss-full. I was stood there and I wondered about Law and I stood on the roof top of Seattle grace, I was stood alone but I felt him behind me holding my back. I needed to go home soon and face him. Maybe I have realised one mistake is nothing in the long run, he never left me when I made mistakes did he. My thoughts of him running across the beach in Greece with Aurora on his back last summer were interrupted by the call of my phone. The annoying high pitched tone made my stomach turn. 

'Hello' I said in an aggravated tone. 

'Rel It's Arizona'

'Hi Ari what's the matter?' 

'Laurel are you sat down'

'No, why, your making me panic'

'I thought he would be here at least another week Rel'

'What? what do you mean another week?'

'He never told you, shit, He never told her' she said to Callie who I presume was stood next to her, followed by a load of sighs meaning she had a crowd.

'Laurel, Lawrence passed away this morning' 

The phone fell from my hand and I collapsed to the side of the bed, my tanned legs cushioning my fall. 

I woke up looking at that black dress that hung on the side of my wardrobe. I wondered If we hadn't moved to Seattle whether we would be getting married and that black dress would be white and flowy and new. I could see him every-time I closed my eyes I could see him at the end of the aisle but every time he would get further and further away each step I made.

'You ready Rel' my mom had flown back from L.A with me.

'Yep' I had placed myself in the dress, one white rose attached to my lapel.

'Law reminded me of you, in both good and bad ways'

'Ok' she said, not wanting to start an argument as to why she wasn't like him.

'I said we would try again like you and dad did, If he grew up and got to realise what his priority was, maybe saying he was dying might have been a start'

We all stood around as he was lifted into the ground. My dads hand was on my shoulder, My moms hand interlinked with mine. Little Aurora's hand was holding so tight to my other hand. Once everyone had left. Me and her walked up to the side.

'Even when daddy's not here we look up-to the stars and see him there'

'We look up to the stars and see him there' I smiled down at her through my clouded vision.

A month later it was Christmas. The nurses room was full of pie and Christmas wishes. I stood leaning against one of the side boards a warm coffee in hand. I looked around the room to see the nurses who were mothers, sisters, family and friends all with large smiles and laughter. They had arranged a group secret Santa. 

'Ellie this one's for you' 

'Violet this is for you'

Violet laughed a large laugh. 'HAHA, blue stethoscope because blue's his favourite colour' She had been trying for a month to get the attention of a man in ortho, he had shared with her one day he loved the colour blue when talking to a patient. 

'Juliette this one's for you'

'This is for Laurel' Juliette said as she walked towards me, a small pink box in her hand. I took it from her hand remaining eye contact the whole time, I looked at her saddened eyes. We had not had a full conversation since... well you know. 

I unwrapped the perfect box, inside was a silver necklace, it was a star with three initials, L,L&A. My eyes clouded over, I looked down at a small note. In it read 'I'm sorry, forgive me, he was always yours and you always had his heart. So now you can have him with you in the stars by your heart. -J' Tears streamed down my face as I embraced her. 

'Thank you' I said, her grip got tightened around me. 

'I miss you Jules'

'I miss you too Laur' 

'Aww what christmas can do to bring you together' Rose said with a smile.