BRIGHT LIGHTS OF SEATTLE

GO YOUR OWN WAY

I sat looking out through the glass into the NICU unit. Lexie and Mark had gone to see Karev. My mothers hand came onto my shoulder, her fingers wrapping around my white shirt. I turned to her folding my head into her ginger hair. She engulphed me in her arms. We fell to the floor, my screams of pain and loneliness fell into her hold.

'I've got you baby' 

I felt Meredith behind me, she bent down to my back and held me. 

'How's dad'

'I don't know yet Rel' her voice cracked.

I turned to look at her I looked from her eyes to her belly.

'We both didn't get our joys Rel' 

'I am so sorry Meredith'

'We are going to get through this Rel' 

'MOMMY' Aurora wan her blonde hair bouncing off of her tiny shoulders. I pushed myself up my leg wrapped in bandages. I ran to her and fell Into her small arms. 'careful' my mother warned as her and Mer pushed me up.

'I thought I'd lost you Mommy'

'I thought I'd lost you too baby' I said kissing her over and over again. 

I will never forget that day, I lost friends, family, We lost Adamson, we nearly lost Karev. Our walls where filled with the souls of many again, brave souls who's  bright light will still shine. 

A few weeks went by since the shooting. Every-time I closed my eyes I saw him, I couldn't sleep, his eyes of death debating my fate. I lost everything that day, my baby, everything. I stood in front of the hospital. 

'Laurel, I have the results of the parental of the baby' Mer said walking towards me. Sam was stood next to me, his bravery and strength trying to reach me but was unsuccessful, my guilt was to over powerful. My hands shook at the feeling the brown envelope. Did I want to know ?

I walked to the roof of Seattle grace as the city grew in darkness. Behind me was Aurora, I am going to make my little girl believe in the possibilities of a future. Just me and her against the world. I turned to look at her.

'Look what I found baby'

I felt the circular ring in my pocket. I passed it to her.

'Your ring'

'I lost it!, my Ring'

'What did you just say'

'Ring'

'You got your R's baby' I picked her up and spun her around and around. My heart was pounding with joy and tears streamed off of my skin, following the pattern of many heartbreaks and feelings. I saw Juliette behind me at the door way her silhouette against the light. She walked over and clasped my hand, I squeezed it tightly. We both shared our smiles at one another. Before I rested my head on her shoulder. 

'I love you Juliette, my person'

'Love you too Rel, my person'

 My family stood around me in hope and possibility. Sam was the father of that baby, he said he loved me last night and from this moment on we are going to take small steps to make big leaps and become the greatest surgeons at Seattle Grace as maybe a bit more than friends. haha.

 I stood with the souls of my heart. Above me a wall of stars reflecting the hearts of the lost, the glittering twinkle reflecting against the darkness. We lost pieces of our Seattle puzzle today. As a doctor you see people at their worst, some at their best, others lost some found. You see and array of souls and hearts. I know deep down I will always have my Aurora, Lawrence, Charlie and all my family here. But for the first time in forever I stand here having gone through the worst time in my life and feeling strong because I have overcome the pain I thought would be forever, the love I will never loose and the hope for a brighter future. I arrived seeing Seattle a storm of rain, then the thunder the rain brought. All these things that have happened over the past year a collection of thunder in my storm but Now for the first time in the silence of Seattle Grace a place that will rise again. 

I see the 

BRIGHT. LIGHTS. OF.SEATTLE.

Thank you for reading my lovelies, I think this is where I want to finish but if you disagree just say. I sort of wrote this all at once sort of thing over two weeks because I had such a path I wanted to go with it and I didn't really wait. So if you had read all these chapters and your still here. Thank you it means a lot X