Some People Change (Currently Editing)

Chapter Thirty-Six

When my clock hit five-thirty, I could sleep no more. Today was Freddy’s funeral.Weariness overcame me as I got up to get dressed. I decided to wear the same clothes I wore to Billy’s funeral. I slipped into my dress and put my hair in a half-ponytail. I stared at myself in my bathroom mirror, not really knowing what to do next. 

“Kayla,” Amy murmured from my doorway.

I didn’t even bother to turn around.

“What?”

“Jason, Ed, and Taylor are here.”

I nodded, and then pushed past Amy as I made my way downstairs. Jason stood in the living room.

“Hi.”

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you holding up?”

I didn’t answer. Jason came to me, and pulled me close.

“I’m fine,” I replied hurriedly as I tried to get away.

But Jason wouldn’t let me go.

“It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling,” he told me. “If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re angry, then be angry.”

Amy sauntered down to join us.

“Are you ready to go?”

Jason released me then.

“Yeah.”

The thirty minute drive to Groven Cemetery seemed almost unbearable. I kept my eyes on the trees that passed by my window, trying so hard not to let my mind stray to anything else. Taylor sat next to me, and his hand lay on mine the whole way, but even he couldn’t comfort me now. A darkness had managed to consume me, and I didn’t think it was going to set me free anytime soon.

Jason opened my car door once he found a place to park. I stepped out slowly, putting one foot down, and once I felt like it was planted firmly, I placed the other one beside it. Amy wrapped her arm around Emma, and then she draped her other one over my shoulders.

A priest was waiting for us at the far end of the parking lot. He greeted us, and then together we walked to Freddy’s coffin. It was light brown. 

“We are here today to acknowledge…”

I flashed back to Billy’s funeral. It saddened me to think of it, but there was a parallel between his death and Freddy’s. A gun had stolen both of their lives, and they were both innocent victims that didn’t have to die. I had loved them both so much. 

I envisioned Freddy’s coffin opening. Her body still, her clothes fluttering in the morning wind, and a bullet hole in her forehead.

“Kayla!”

Ed’s voice shattered my dreamlike state. Freddy had already been lowered into the ground. I had missed it. I had missed everything.

“I’m sorry,” I said to both Freddy and Ed.

“It’s alright, darling. Let’s get you out of here.”

I walked with Ed to the car, not daring to look back. Oh, Freddy. I hoped with all my heart that she would rest in peace. 

After the funeral, we all drove to the stables. None of us really had anything to say to one another, so that resulted in everybody going off to do their own things. For me, that entailed taking Zaltana for a ride.

I changed into my jeans and into a black tank top, and then tacked Zaltana up. I hopped on her and then cantered her across the field. Once I reached the tree, I stopped and dismounted. Zaltana began to graze as I sat down on the grass.