Adopted by Dear Evan Hansen: Could we go on For Forever?

A Little Less Alone

**Ryder's POV**

"You good, Bright Eyes?" Brooklyn sat down beside me on the school stairs and put her hand on my knee.

"Just tired, that's it," I let the white lie slip out, but Brooklyn knew me better than that and she gave me a pointed look. I released a ragged breath and said, "Fine. I'm just scared that..."

"That it's going to be a repeat of the Carlsons and everyone else who's left you?" Brooklyn finished, nudging my arm. I didn't reply but rested my head on her shoulder. "Listen, Ryder, I don't pretend to know the hell you've been through, but I truly believe that Laura, Mike, and the others love and care for you. They wouldn't have adopted you if they don't."

"Adoptions can fall through," I pointed out, "It happened to some of my friends. His name was Carter Blake and he was adopted by a family in Hell's Kitchen. They were happy for two months before he came out and his family gave him up. It happens, Brooklyn, it happens more than you would think."

"But Ben told us that they'd support you," my girlfriend rubbed my shoulder.

"You know better than anyone that doesn't take the fear away."

Brooklyn kissed the top of my head, "I know, but it should give you some peace-of-mind."

"This looks like a scene from a really sad gay rom-com," Oliver sat down on the stair below us, "Wanna tell me what wrong, or do I have to guess, because you know I am amazing at guessing games."

"Ryder talked herself onto a cliff and I'm dealing with the consequences," Brooklyn explained and I glared at both of them when Oliver replied with,

"Oh, so it's just a normal Tuesday?"

"You three okay?"

I looked up to see Mr. Waller stopped on the stairwell.

"Just a normal Tuesday," Oliver shrugged.

"I'm fine, Mr. Waller," I promised.

"Okay, let me know if I can do anything for you three," he left the hallway and I leaned into Brooklyn more.

We sat on the stairwell in silence for the rest of lunch, just me, Brooklyn, and Oliver. I had Math and then English, then the final bell rang.

"Oh! Ryder!" I groaned inwardly when Jared Nelson caught me on my way to my locker, "The spring musical is going to start soon and Ms. Mulligan wanted me to ask you if you're going to be apart of it. She said she could really use your voice over headset."

"Look, Jared," I stopped walking and turned to face him, "I appreciate you seeking me out, but I'm not sure."

"Please?" he folded his hands in front of him, "The actors listen to you, which is saying something because actors never ever listen to the crew in middle school theatre."

I sighed, rubbing my forehead, "I'll think about it."

"Yes!" he pumped his fists and handed me an audition packet from the folder he was carrying, "I'll let Ms. Mulligan now. You won't regret this, Ryder! I swear!"

Jared ran toward the drama room and, groaning, I continued to my locker. I handed Brooklyn my audition packet as I dumped all of my things into my backpack.

"Are you going to do it?" she asked.

"Maybe," I slung my backpack over my shoulder and put my jacket over my arm, "I have to talk to my five guardians first."

"Stage managing has helped you clear your head in the past," Brooklyn pointed out, handing me back the papers, "I think it's a good idea."

"I can't think about this right now," I folded the packet and tucked it into my backpack, "Do you want to come to the theatre with me so we can eat our body weight in gummies and cry over The Good Dinosaur?"

"That sounds like the perfect way to spend a Tuesday," Brooklyn agreed.

That was exactly what we did. Brooklyn and I ate an entire box of Laura's fruit snacks as well as raid some of Mike's stashes. Michael let us play video games with him while he wasn't on stage - which Brooklyn and I crushed him in. The two of us went head-to-head in Mario Kart, she'll deny it heavily, but I beat her every time. Brooklyn isn't a sore loser unless she loses against me. When Brooklyn gets focused or stressed, her eyebrows furrow together and she gets a little crinkle on her forehead and when she's angry or upset, the crinkle migrates to her nose.

"I had no clue you were so good at Mario Kart, Ryder," Kristolyn mused from where she stood behind us, watching.

"It was the only game they had at a group home when I was twelve," I answered, not taking my eyes off of the screen, "Also, when I was ten I was in a home in a residential area and a foster sibling had a seizure and I had to drive him to the hospital." I turned around briefly to look at Kristolyn, "I've had plenty of experience behind the wheel - figurative and literal."

I killed the mood a bit, but what I've taken away from all the times my disaster of a life ruins the mood - just keep going. So, I destroyed Brooklyn(I was first she was third) in our round of Mario Kart and we moved on.

"We're going to play again!" Brooklyn grabbed my control and started a new game.

"Get over yourself," I laughed, but chose my character anyway.

"Not until I beat you."

"Oh, honey," I scoffed, "We both know that's not going to happen. I am the queen of Mario Kart. I could beat you upside down."

"Do it," Brooklyn challenged and I paused the game to flip myself over on Michael's chair.

"Let's go."

I beat Brooklyn and somehow she got worse when I flipped over because I was first and she dropped all the way down to fifth.

"It's because!" Brooklyn trailed off, shaking her head, "Yeah, I got nothing."

I grinned, "That's what I thought."