Adopted by Dear Evan Hansen: Could we go on For Forever?

Reaching for the Right Thing to Say

**Ryder's POV**

Everyone says that they "understand" what your going through and that you're not alone. Let me just say, I'm not the first one to call their bluff. No one can ever comprehend what I've been through and what others wards of the state have been through. Once their parents have died, they've been tossed from home to home like a cardboard box, they've been to juvie, starved, abused, and been in a fight circle - then they can say that they know what I've gone through. Oh, yeah, I've been in a fight circle. Juvie guards don't always care about what happens as long as nobody dies on their shift.

School sometimes reminds me of juvie, in some ways. You move at a bell, you can only carry certain things with you at a time, and if you do something they will call your parents and you will get punished. However, in juvie when I did something, they would call my social worker, Mr. Iver and he'd go on and on about how if I mess up in juvie then the court can have my stay extended or send me to one of those correctional camps in the middle of nowhere with constant supervision.

What brought all this up? I'm in school. I was sitting in a corner of the library reading a book out loud while Brooklyn lay with her head in my lap. Every once in a while, our English teacher lets us spend class in the library to wind down and hang out. This usually happens after we have end-of-unit quizzes or state testing so, I kind of love those tests because I get to read to Brooklyn while playing with her hair.

"Sorry to interrupt, girls," I looked up at the voice of my English teacher, Mr. Waller, "How are things going over here?"

I glanced down at Brooklyn as I said, "Pretty good."

Mr. Waller sat down in front of us, "I'm glad. Brooklyn, how was your trip to Europe? I trust you had fun?"

"I did, Mr. Waller. We visited the Eiffel Tower and it was even better than you told me it was!"

Mr. Waller laughed, "That's good," he looked back up to me, "What about you, Ryder? I hear you got a new placement. Is everything going okay there?"

I shrugged, "It's not my parents, but it's better than a lot of my other homes. Laura treats me well."

A smile pulled the corners of Mr. Waller's mouth up, "Good. Let yourself enjoy this home, Ryder. Laura sounds like she truly cares about you, a relationship works both ways. Are you looking out for Ryder?" Mr. Waller asked Brooklyn, "Have you met this Laura?"

"I have," Brooklyn told him, "She does care and she does want to help."

"Okay, then," he stood up, "Look out for yourselves and each other, girls. And Ryder, let her care for you." Mr. Waller started to walk away, then he turned back, "Also - you two are adorable together."

Brooklyn and I are left in shock. We knew that Mr. Waller knew about us, but he'd never said anything so out in the open. Thankfully, we'd found a corner where no one would hear us and Mr. Waller knew that. He was not a counselor, but he was one of those teachers that actually cared about what his students were going through and liked to check in on them to make sure they were okay. I got out of two really bad homes because he noticed my bruises.

"That was unexpected," I told Brooklyn once Mr. Waller had moved on to Flynn Ryan at a table playing Jenga with his buddies.

"No kidding," Brooklyn laughed, "I always knew that if any of our teachers were to say anything, it would be Mr. Waller but... That was something else."

"That's why he's the best teacher," I shrugged, picking the book back up. Brooklyn murmured her agreement and settled herself again to listen to me read.

The conversation with Mr. Waller kept replaying in my head for the rest of the day. He gave good advice and I couldn't help but think about what he had said about letting Laura take care of me. It wasn't that I didn't trust Laura, it was that... Well, I wasn't used to trusting people, and Laura made it so easy that it almost seemed impossible. I kept waiting for something to happen that wasn't right so that I could be right about not trusting anyone, but so far I was wrong. I think that was what terrified me the most.

Hey, all! Sorry I missed yesterday's publishing. I was busy in the morning and then my friend needed some advice that turned into a lengthy conversation. I hope these two new chapters make up for it. I'm sorry that they're shorter but I'm kind of at a loss for ideas. Please let me know if there's any kind of scene/interaction you want me to make a point of putting in.

I hope you all are staying safe!

-Spaceheater1