Dead Flower (Sequel to The Flower Girl) (Completed)

Chapter 14: The Need

                                Veronica

Early this morning, I called miss Jane, to see if she could watch Flower. I know it's selfish, but I'm not in the right head space at the moment. I need time to process my thoughts. Thankful that Andrew is at work, so I can be alone. I glide my fingers over the leather steering wheel. The texture is ingrained under the prints of my fingertips.

I know Andrew told me he's always here for me. A part of me feels like he's tired of hearing the same ole same ole of what's bothering me. Going for a drive, the rain falls onto the windshield, and I can relate. Somehow keeping it together, I start to panic when my thoughts are on a rampage. When I was much younger, I used to listen to depressing music, because the singers/rappers knew how I felt.

Then I realized how it only depressed me more. Needing someone to talk to, I take back what I said earlier. I wish Andrew was off work, I don't want to be alone. Taking my phone from the passenger seat, I punch in the pass code. I scroll through the numbers. Though I have it memorized, it's safer to find the name. About to hang up once I think he won't answer, he picks up.

"Babe. I'm at work. You know how busy I get. What's wrong?"

Instant regret. I feel like a burden. What a waste of time. I think about hanging up, but how childish?

"I'm sorry I troubled you. Never mind. Have a good day."

He sighs into the phone. "Come on Veronica. You called for a reason. What is it?"

He's too busy to care. "I have to go." Is all my dumb ass could muster up before hanging up the phone, and crying. I have to pull over. It's not safe to drive while bawling my eyes out.
When my phone goes off with his name, I press decline.

It was a mistake to bother him. So selfish of me to disturb him at work. I'd like to talk to someone, but I hate being such a nuisance. Then I think of Aubrey. We're kind of at the stage where we can vent to each other. She's vented to me plenty, maybe it's my turn?

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"Thank you so much for doing this for me."

Aubrey extends a hand over, rubbing my back. "Of course girl! I'm always here for girl talk. What's bothering you?"

Her scented perfume overpowering the air freshener in my car. I take a second to inhale the new smell. I turned my phone off. Andrew kept calling, and I insisted that I'm fine, and so is Flower. Fixed on the road, I can't help but glance over and admire how beautiful Aubrey is. Fixed in workout clothes, she looks phenomenal. Tight white leggings, and a gray crop top. She looks perfect without makeup.

Stealing my glance away, I focus on what she wants to know. "I'm a mess."

"Pfft. Aren't we all?"

That earns a giggle out of me. Wiping the tears, "Listen...I really don't have any friends...never did. I don't know how to do this. Or if I even should."

Thankfully she speaks before the ride gets too awkward. "Hey, I've been there..Actually there again. I'm grateful I have you here for me. I know we just met, but I also know that holding shit in is not good. And if you don't have somebody, you do now."

She's everything I've ever wanted in a friend. I don't even know where to begin. "I...I can't say it."

"Did someone hurt you?" Cutting to the chase. "Is Flower okay?"

"Yes! She's perfectly fine!" I take a moment to gulp down the lodge in my throat. "I'm struggling to live. It's like I can't escape the thoughts. I've tried so hard. You'd think sleeping would erase it all. But the sleep paralysis happens, and the nightmares.."