What Are You Talking About?

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(AN: Ok I just want to start off by saying this is my second bakudeku fanfic with Deku being depressed. I'm sorry, but most of my stories are gonna be depressing. Except for my kamibaku one... Anyways, I hope that you enjoy this story! Please, please, please take into account that these types of stories can affect your mental health! Be cautious when reading these! Btw, not everything in here is accurate to the anime/manga's. I love y'all!)

Deku pov

BEEP! BEEP BE-

I slam my hand down on the blaring alarm clock next to my head. I sit up slowly, cautious of my bruises and burns that are scattered all over my body.

I stumble to the bathroom and take a look in the mirror. 

God, why are you so ugly? Honestly, you are such a disgrace! No wonder your dad beats you! 

I nod along to the voices, too tired to fight against them. I take off my bandages and wrap new ones around my wrists, careful not to open any of the recent cuts. I slip my uniform on and pack my backpack. I try to tame my unruly hair as I walk down the stairs, only to be greeted by a slap to the face. 

"You brat! I thought I told you to get up earlier! Can't you do anything right? Get out of this house! And don't expect food to be on the table when you get home! Don't be late or you're going to get it!", growled my barely sober father. My mom chuckles and sneers at me, taking in my pained face.

I walk out the door, but I'm suddenly kicked in the back, sending a wave of pain to roll through my body. I cry out in pain as the door slams behind me. I slowly get up from the ground with Kacchan across the street, wondering what he just saw. 

Shit...

He gives me a confused look but it soon turns to annoyance and exasperation. I sigh and walk to school, still feeling immense pain all over my body. 

I sit down in my seat and put my head down. Pain wracks through my skull making me groan quietly. 

How pathetic. What the hell is wrong with you? Everyone hates you! Your parents, your teachers, your friends, everyone! You aren't worth anything! You're so fat! You are a fat, ugly, disgusting, disgrace! No one loves you! Just face it, you aren't worth anyones time! Just die already!

I tug at my hair slightly and whimper, trying to ignore the voices. I fidget with my blade in my pocket before asking to use the bathroom.

I walk out of the classroom in a bit of a hurry before sprinting towards the bathroom. My chest feels heavy. I can't breath. The voices multiply and scream in my head. I lock myself in a stall and take out my blade. 

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

...

Eighty-nine

I begin to feel dizzy, so I bandage my arms and take a deep breath. As if on cue, Kacchan walks into the bathroom. "Oi, nerd. The teacher wants you back in class.", he yells with an angered voice. I tremble slightly at his tone. I nod at him and exit the bathroom. The entire way back, Kacchan keeps glancing at me with a strange look.

"What was that with you this morning? You fell to the ground after being kicked out of your house. Emphasis on the word 'kicked'.", Kacchan asks.

I begin to panic and try to come up with a believable response. 

"Oh! I wasn't kicked! I just um... tripped and fell! I just have a headache, that's all!", I say. Wow, that was more believable than I thought it would be! I give him a nervous smile and he just says, "Stupid nerd. Then explain your dad throwing insults at you and slapping you.", he says.

I freeze. He saw that?! How?! Damn... 

"W-what? I don't know what you're talking about!", I say in a bit of a panic. If he finds out I'm so dead!

Idiot! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! What's wrong with you?! You disgusting whore! You slut! Disgrace! You're so dead! Just die! 

"Yes you do. Don't lie to me. And did you just curse...?", Kacchan says, still persistent to find out what was going on. 

Shitshitshitshit!

I stay silent, telling him that I'm not talking about it. "Fine then. I guess I'll find out myself. Expect me to be at your house at about 5pm.", he sighs. My eyes widen and I feel like my heart just stopped. 

Nononononononono! He can't come to my house! My parents are going to fucking kill me! Ughhhh I'm so dead! 

"Oi, nerd. Stop mumbling! Why would your parents kill you?", he asks. I bite my lip to stop myself from doing anything stupid and walk faster. "Deku!", Kacchan yells as he grabs my wrist. I wince in pain, but it's not enough for Kacchan to notice. I think...

He looks at me with a bit of concern in his eyes. Wait...concern? From Katsuki Bakugou? My eyes must be playing tricks on me.

I take a shaky breath. "Kacchan...let go of me. Now.", I say in an almost menacing tone, not looking into his eyes. He slowly loosens his grip and I walk into the classroom. 

Katsuki pov

What the hell? His tone...I can't place it. But if I'm going to be honest, it intimidates me a bit. For a second though, he sounded kind of...broken.

We walk back into the classroom and Deku puts his head back on his desk. He looks so sad. What happened to him? Damn it, I'm not giving up until I find out. 


Chapter one is done! I hope y'all enjoyed it! Anyways, I hope that you guys are staying safe! I seriously care about every one of you! Please, please, please, be safe! If you are hurting yourself mentally or physically, please call 1-800-273-8255! I am so serious! Suicide is not the answer! Even when things seem impossible, you can make it! I know that you might not take me seriously. I know you might be thinking "You can't be serious right now...They don't understand. You can't help me! They don't even know me! How would they know?", and I totally get that. But I do understand. After a specific experience that I had a while ago, I had a new look on life. I saw life as an opportunity. I know it may seem tough right now, but death isn't the answer! You are incredible! You are beautiful! You are loved! You are a unique human being that is perfect in every way, shape and form! If you need to talk, you can dm me on instagram which is the same username as my wattpad username (aka mangoes_are_valid). Love y'all sm!

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