All Rikki wanted to do was grab her suitcase from baggage claim, get a cab, grab some tea and go home to see her family. Little did she know that one suitcase could lead to meeting her true love, though she would have no idea what would happen along...
She hasn't gotten a full night of sleep in a week. I can see it in her face - she's beautiful as always, just looks a little worn down. Also I can tell when I wake up to the bright gleam of her computer at 3 in the morning, although she tries to hide it as she doesn't want me to worry about her. We seem so close when I look at our relationship from a far, but right now, it feels like something is holding her back from opening up to me. It's like we talk about some stuff that upsets her, but never the underlying issues, the stuff that really matters. I believe she's gotten better at talking to me without being scared of my response, as she has seen that nothing she could do or has done will ever scare me away. I can just tell something has been on her mind lately that she is keeping from me, and I don't know whether I should pry or respect her privacy. Some past relationships I've been in have been serious, but nothing with a connection like this. I just don't know what to do, as I can't tell if it is that big of a deal or not because I have never really been faced with a circumstance like this. I love her with all the baggage she carries - that's just apart of her. Everyone has their shit, but for some people it's more intense than others. Oh wait. I love her. I didn't even think about saying it, I've just been thinking it for so long. I guess now I'm in love with Rikki. I am officially and completely in love with Rikki. I think that's why this is affecting me so much. I haven't ever truly cared about a girl this much in such a long time, or really ever, to the point where nothing really makes sense without her.
I feel like I should tell her, but not at a show or anything. I can tell that much spotlight makes her just a tad uncomfortable. Maybe when we land in New York I could take her to a nice dinner and tell her how I truly feel. I think that will be a great place to display my heart-felt emotions in a way she deserves.
Tour has overall been really fantastic, something I never thought would be so rewarding. Not to sound cocky, but I knew I was a pretty big celebrity before this tour. I don't believe I ever realized how much I truly meant to my supporters though before I saw numerous massive stadiums filled with people crying over my presence. I am so incredibly grateful for that feeling of unconditional love from people who truly understand me. It's something that is so hard to describe. Tour did feel really weird at first without the boys though - to be solo on that stage. I guess I was a little worried that maybe the crowd wouldn't be satisfied with just me, maybe not entertained. But when I was up there, everything felt natural. Not better or worse than with the band, just another step in my life. Just different.
I've posted a little about Rikki in the bus and going to my concerts and stuff like that, and the outcome has been a little mixed. There are a lot of positive people who love her almost as much as I do, but then there are some fans who aren't so kind. I truly can't wrap my head around why, as she is literally amazing. Also, people don't even know her? How can one form that strong of an opinion against someone who has done no wrong? I love all my supporters though, as they make my dreams come true. I just am so conflicted when it comes to stuff like this. I just feel like when it comes to loving someone, you just want everyone to realize how outstanding they are and how much better they make your life. And I feel like a lot of people aren't even taking the time to know her. But then, there are some people who have been overdoing it and prying into her past almost. They haven't found anything, not like I would care about it either way, I'm just so confused what the purpose is? But all I know is that we're happy, and that is all that matters.
We are currently on the way to New York for the Radio City Music Hall show, and I am beyond excited. I feel like New York has meant a lot to me and Rikki, as we have spent quite a bit of time in our relationship there. We have gotten a lot closer here and have made so many memories together here. I couldn't recall half of them if anyone asked me to. I can tell she really loves it here as well, and I know she could never be away from this place for too long. We can both relate on that. I must mean a lot to her if she has been on tour with me for this long haha.
I turn to my right to see her adjusting her blanket and pillow and pulling down the cover on the window. I'm guessing shes going to try and get some sleep now, so I won't bug her. I very quietly ask the flight attendant for a hot tea when she walks down the aisle. It always relaxes me and reminds me of home. The coffee Rikki drinks is disgusting to me, but that makes me giggle because she enjoys it so much. If I has a penny for every time Rikki has forced me to pull over in order to get a hot latte, I would have an immensely higher net worth than I do now.
The flight attendant hands me the tea and I take a sip. Hot, but not burning. Delicious. After a couple more sips, I adjust my blanket like Rikki did before, and place my hand on her thigh. As I hear the plane buzz I fall asleep peacefully.
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Hey guys! Sorry for the late update and short chapter, been a busy bee. You guys are going to hate me soon, so start preparing, you have no idea what I have in store. Lmao just promise me now you won't hate me.
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