𝘚𝘤𝘢́𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘤𝘩 · 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 ⁵

𝟓.𝟐𝟐

───── 「PROMISES」 ─────

     I didn't know why or if it was right but something had pulled me to Bellamy's cell and I had spent there the couple of hours left till sunrise. I hated this. I hated knowing I could do nothing to help him. I hated that I knew there was a possibility of losing him. If he hadn't taken the Flame from me, he'd be walking around the bunker like it was his. But there we were, in a cell, telling him about my six years down in the bunker as he told me about the Ring. I wished I had left with him, I wished he had taken Lila with him and I had stayed back to help them escape but I couldn't change the past.

- "Sam," -Thea was back outside the cell- "it's time."

I felt my heart crushing in my chest, nodding at her before she left, sitting on the bed as Bellamy did the same. I knew I had to go but it felt so wrong, leaving him there to... hopefully just fight. I rubbed my temples, closing my eyes, and racking my brain trying to find something I could use that I had missed.

- "Hey, don't." -he slowly moved his hand down my arm, squeezing before resting his hand over mine- "It's not your fault."

- "I should be doing something."

- "You have." -he made me face him- "You've stayed with me."

- "I'm so helpful, wao."

- "You could have gone to bed, I know you need to rest for what's to come." -he interlaced his fingers with mine- "You could've just sat there and done nothing and I'd have thanked you for it."

- "You're delusional. You could die today."

- "Then I spent my last night exactly like I wanted to: with you."

- "I'm so angry at you." -I stood up, letting go of him- "If I still had the Flame, you'd be free to go and..."

- "Hey, no." -he grabbed my hand, pulling me back with such force I ended up sat on his lap, my hands on his shoulders as he rose his head to meet my eyes- "I did that because I need you to live."

- "I need you to live."

- "So I can watch you die."

- "Yes, so you can watch me die after we've both lived our lives wherever that got us."

- "You think we could've worked this out?"

- "Stop speaking like this is goodbye."

- "But it..."

- "Please." -I covered his mouth, feeling the desperation completely taking over me, trying to keep my voice steady but not doing a very good job at it- "I can't watch you die, Bellamy, that's been my worst nightmare since I met you; it's haunted me for years and in so many different ways and I'm always just there watching; it's like I'm glued to the floor and I can't reach you." -I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks as I made my confession- "I can't pretend like I don't love you, I can't pretend that I don't want you, that I don't want us to find peace and get to know each other again and be the team we used to be. Fuck, Bellamy, we were so good and I'm sorry it's taken me wanting to murder you, wanting to punish you, trying to be with someone else, and the threat of truly losing you for good to realize. I'm losing my edge and I need you to stay with me to keep me on my toes." -I took his face in my hands- "I need you."