Not the only one (formally Chloe)

Chapter 18

Chloe woke up on the sofa. She felt so content if not a little sleepy. "Good morning." Gran smiled "did I wake you fairy? Sorry."
"No it's ok. What time is it?"
"8.30 but it's Boxing Day so it's okay to sleep in. The kettles almost boiled, shall I make you a tea. Milk, one sugar?" Gran asked.
"Thanks," Chloe smiled. "I don't take sugar anymore. And only a drop of milk I usually have coconut milk, but I'm guessing mum doesn't have that."
"Oh?" Gran asked.
"It lasts longer than regular milk and doesn't have to be refrigerated so it works well in work and that. It tastes similar but a little different. "Have you and mum got plans for today?" Chloe asked as her Gran passed her a cup of tea.
"We were going to go for a walk, your mum mentioned the downs. Some parkland a few miles away." Gran smiled.
"Can I gatecrash?" Chloe asked.
"Of course sweetie." Gran smiled and took a deep breath "would you mind...if we invited Dominic?.. it's okay if you don't want to." Gran looked at her granddaughter
"That would be nice." Chloe said "if he's around , I'm not sure if he's working or what. Mum would love for him to be there too. I'll text him now"
Hey Dom,
Hope you had a lovely Xmas. My gran is down and would love to meet u. We are going for a walk on the downs later if u wanna join. Lmk
Chloe xxx
Done. Chloe smiled. Her mum entered the room. "Please tell me the kettles on. I need my morning coffee" Ange groaned.
"Kettles just boiled it will still be hot." Sheila (Gran) smiled.
"Gran's invited me and Dom to your Boxing Day walk on the downs. If that's okay." Chloe told her mum.
"That's fine with me if it is with you." Ange smiled at her daughter. And Chloe's phone buzzed.
Hey Chloe,
Had a nice Xmas, didn't get a sports car tho
:( I'd love to come along. What's the plan?
Dom xxx
Chloe asked her mum and was able to text back
Oh sad times ahaha. Mum says to meet at the cafe on the downs about 12.30? Does that work for you?

A few hours later they were stood by the cafe on the downs. "Hey, merry Christmas." Dom said hugging Ange and Chloe. "And you much be Sheila. Hi, I'm Dom."
"Hi." Sheila said shyly. They all started to walk along the downs "so tell me about yourself Dominic?" Sheila asked and Dom laughed. "That's such a hard question to answer. So I'm Dominic Copeland. I'm a doctor. I'm gay. I have a husband called Lofty. Well he's actually called Ben but everybody calls him Lofty. I don't know what else to say." They all walked in an awkward silence for a while. "Why don't you tell Gran where you grew up and about your childhood and stuff." Chloe babbled to break the silence. "My parents. Well adoptive parents are Barry and Carole, we lived in Oxfordshire when I was a toddler, moved to Swindon when I was 4 and we settled in Holby by the time I started secondary." Dom said
"Do you have any other siblings?" Sheila asked.
"No. It was just me and my little group of friends. I was your typical gay, camp lad, most of my friends were girls." Conversation started to flow a little easier but it was still a little awkward. "Last one to the cafes a loser" Dom looked at Chloe towards the end of the walk and took off. She sped after him laughing. "Not fair you started first" she yelled.
"Oh mum." Ange said to Sheila "this is what I was talking about." She looked at Chloe and Dom laughing together about 50 meters away at the cafe  "seeing my 2 children, together. Is amazing." Sheila tenderly rubbed her daughters arm "it's wonderful for me too. I know I encouraged you to give Dom up. And I do think it was for the best, but I always wondered."
"Hot chocolates all round." Ange said "my treat."
"Not for me." Dom said. "I'd best get going. Lovely to meet you Sheila." Dom smiled and hugged her gently" Ange and Sheila went up to the bar in the quiet cafe. "Gran likes you. I can tell." Chloe smiled at Dom as he was about to leave. "Really she seemed quiet and awkward."
"She was a bit worried, she only knew the basics about you"
"Worried she wouldn't like me?" Dom asked.
"No. Not at all gran loves everyone. She was worried what you'd think of her. You know. You're a doctor and she's a retired cleaner. You come from different worlds. But, you're still connected kind of." Chloe said.
"It's a weird situation, and Chloe, your Gran is lovely." Dom said
"She's a diamond for sure." Chloe smiled.
"See you soon Chlo." He smiled giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
"Ange, would you be able to give me some time with Chloe just now. Take a phone call or something. I'm worried about her." Sheila said to Ange. "And I'd like to talk to her."
"Ok. I can ring my boyfriend."
They came and sat at the able with Chloe and the waitress bought 3 hot chocolates over. Piled high with marshmallows and whipped cream. A year or so ago Chloe would have eaten it with a spoon. But she hardly touched hers. "Oh, I've a missed call from fletch." Ange lied. "I'd better give him a call back. I'll take this outside." She picked up her hot chocolate and went and sat at one of the tables outside and decided to give Fletch a ring anyway.
"Chloe." Gran said. "I'm not going to ask you because I know you'll lie to me. I know you're not okay. What's going on Chloe."
"Nothing. I'm fine." Chloe answered evenly.
"Chloe?" Gran asked.
"I'm fine I told you."
"Chloe, I know you, how smooth is the skin on your hips and thighs!"
"No Gran,you knew me, I'm not a child anymore! You don't know me anymore. I'm an adult now and I don't need my gran asking me stupid questions. Work is fine. My friends are fine. My relationship is fine. Everything is fine." Chloe said strongly clenching her teeth.
"Chloe, it's okay, calm down. That outburst just shows me you're not as fine as you say you are." Gran said calmly putting her hand on her granddaughters.
"I'm sorry Gran. I didn't mean that." Chloe said apologetically. "That wasn't fair. I guess I've just had a lot on my plate lately, but I am ok."
"Tell me what's going on darling."
"I don't know where to start. When I first started at Holby everything was going so well. And then when everything happened with Holly, you remember the girl with Marfan syndrome. I know I'm a doctor and I shouldn't get emotionally involved but she was so vivacious and full of life."
"Yes I remember you saying." Gran said tenderly.
"And not long after Holly, all that stuff with Dom. You know she told him how I was conceived before I even knew he was my brother." Chloe said.
"Darling, I'm not trying to excuse what your mother did. But she would never try to hurt you. I wanted her to tell you about Dom but she didn't because all she knew of him was an innocent, perfect little baby. You'd be spending you're whole life trying to compete with a mystery. She didn't tell you when you were little because you'd be telling all your little friends that you had a brother and your mum didn't want to have to explain her past to all your classmates mums. She already felt like an outsider since she wasn't always there to pick you up. Plus she was barely 22 when you started school while most of the other mums were about 30. And Chloe please know that I'm not blaming you at all but after all the hurt that finding out about your father caused you she didn't want to hurt you further. I know that you  are upset I didn't tell you. But it wasn't my story to tell. It was easier for her to put him in a box and forget about him." Gran explained.
"I don't know how she could forget." Chloe said.  "She didn't, not really."
"Gran." Chloe said slowly "why did she give him away, with good, better,at least memories of his conception. But keep me. When she must be reminded of such a traumatic experience every time she looks at me?"
"I can't tell you that darling, the only person who knows that is your mum, she might not be able to articulate it herself. but what I do know is she loves you more than she loves life itself. And so do I." They smiled at each other. "You were telling me about your year."
"It's just been lots of other little things, my boss is terrifying and I was living with some sweet girls. A teacher, an art student and a Church intern. But due to their situations we're all moving out and I'm moving in with Evan."
"Your boyfriend?" Gran asked.
"Yes." Chloe answered. "He's lovely, but I just feel a bit anxious about moving in with him. When I lived with the girls I always had my own room and my own space whenever I need it. Evan's flat has just a bedroom, a bathroom and a living/kitchen room. It's a lovely place but there's only 3 rooms. So there's nowhere where I can have some alone time. I mean I'm sure it will be fine, but you know me. Changes make me anxious." Chloe shrugged.
"Can't you move in elsewhere. On your own somewhere or with your other friends. Wasn't there a Nicky?" Gran asked.
"Nicky lives in a flat share with two other doctors Cameron and Frieda. Evan loves me and I'm happy to live with him. I'm just hard to live with. I'm hard to love." Chloe said matter of factly.
"Chloe." Her Gran said leaning back "you mustn't think that you're hard to love, who's told you that?"
"No one. I just know it."
"What do you mean?" Gran asked
"Well with my mental heath problems."
"Chloe, Stop. There are thousands, probably millions of people in this country who struggle like you do and there's not one of them who doesn't deserve love. Yes, darling sometimes you struggle but you're smart and witty, kind and generous and beautiful inside and out. And the fact that you do struggle but are still all of those things shows how strong you are. Ok, you mustn't believe that your hard to love. Ok."
"Ok." Chloe said looking at the floor.
"You haven't touched your hot chocolate."
Gran said.
"Oh don't start Gran. I'm trying to eat healthier! I'm not trying to loose weight and I'm eating fine just less chocolate and pizza and more fruit and veg. Just like mum and you always nagged me for when I was little!"
"Ok, but remember to treat yourself, we all need a little chocolate from time to time. Can we make a deal. That you will face time me at least once a week ok. I know you're busy but please check in with your old Gran." Gran said.
"Of course, but you don't need to worry about me." Chloe smiled. Her gran wasn't convinced and did worry!