Sanitized

Chapter 42; Important

After the confusing news that Marina had just given us, Isaac and I decided to go up to the roof again.
How was that even possible?
Five minutes?
It had felt like 9 hours. I was positive that it had to be 9 hours. It took us more than 5 minutes to get back to the hotel from NILs statue. And we had surely taken 5 hours to get all the way underground.
I was confused out of my mind, and Isaac was too.
We both still stayed silent, through all that.
When things confused us, we stayed silent. It seemed as though that was a common trend.
I felt like I had no purpose at this point.
Weaker than the rest, less bright than the rest, more confused than the rest. I had been told that I fit in with everyone, but now everyone was basically a different person. I felt like I didn't fit in anymore.
If that mission had been for nothing, what purpose did I serve? The only other thing that I did for the Squidbeak Splatoon was get back the people that actually mattered.
I looked at the pool and began to feel tears well up in my eyes.
I wasn't important.
I wasn't important.
I'm not important.
The words kept replaying in my mind.
I began to feel tears streaming down my cheeks, but then stopped myself.
"Don't be weak, Faith" I thought to myself.
I looked to the side of me to see Isaac, but he wasn't there anymore.
I was all alone, at the top of a roof.
Everything all of the sudden felt hopeless.
Isaac didn't like me enough, that he left and had gone back downstairs, and had left me.
Explains why he didn't talk to me as much, or didn't seem as bubbly around me. He just didn't like me.
Maybe there was something wrong with me. What was wrong with me? Was I not strong enough? Was he sick of having someone to save me too much? Was I too much of a child for anyone?  Was I the reason all of this had gone downhill?
I was beginning to think so.
Maybe, if I had just focused, understood that I should've just focused on the mission, none of this would have happened.
If I hadn't fallen down that stupid drain when I came here.
If I hadn't been my stupid, klutzy, childish, immature, blind, and weak self, none of this would've happened.
I began to cry, and I didn't try to hold it back.
Tears came streaming down my cheeks, and I dug my face into my knees, and curled up into a ball.
I banged my head against my knees, and said, "Stupid, stupid, stupid."
I cried even more, then stood up and began to walk to the edge of the roof.
The water began to stick to my face, and I began to feel it turn red. I looked out at the city again.
"Why did I have to be so-so-so-" I thought to myself.
My mind raced, with a million questions.
Does Tres even like me? Does Opal? Does Captain? Does anyone?
I began to move instinctually.
My heart said something different than my head.
I grabbed the railing and began to climb it. I stood on the edge of the railing, balancing off the edge.
My tentacles blew in the wind, and I looked downward, hundreds feet up. I was hundreds of feet in the air, and I thought about what I was about to do.
My hand reached outward, grabbing the air, and I began to move forward and closer to the end of the building.
I stood there waiting for the helicopter, or something better to do.
This is better than doing nothing. I thought to myself.
The helicopter was closer, and I began to tense before I jumped towards it.
I missed the jump.
I was now falling.
The wind slammed my body as I fell from the building.
I attempted to grab but helicopter, do something before I fell to my doom.
I took a deep breath, and accepted it.
"FAITH!" a voice screamed, and I felt myself stop falling.
Someone had grabbed my hand, and was now lifting me up the side of the building.
I was tired, and weak, after all the time I had been crying.
The person pulled me over the edge of the building.
And he was bawling as he pulled me into his arms, and held me tightly.
"Faith, what were you thinking?!" he asked me, as he laid his head on mine.
I stayed silent, and closed my eyes.
"Faith... Did you want to kill yourself?" he said jokingly.
I still stayed silent.
"Faith! What were you thinking?" Isaac said, crying more.
"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry..." I said, feeling my eyes well up.
I began to bawl, and Isaac said, "Oh, Faith, don't ever scare me like that again. Ever."
"I-I-Isaac-c-c..." I said, "D-d-do y-you h-h-hate m-me?"
"No, no, Faith. Why would I ever hate you?" Isaac said, hugging me tighter.
"Well, you seemed like you didn't want to talk to me-"
"Oh, Faith" he said, crying more, "Why would you ever-"
"Do you hate me?" I asked.
No, no, Faith. I do not hate you. I would never. Faith, I love you."
"What?" I said.
"No, I didn't mean it like that-"
I leaned my face close to his, and looked into his eyes.
"Faith, why do you have to be your own enemy?" he said, almost pretending like I wasn't doing anything.
"What? Are you supposed to be the hero or something?" I said quietly..
"Faith, why would you ever do that?" Isaac asked.
"I'm not important, the only thing I've done is screw things up..." I said, going back on the verge of tears.
"Faith, you are important. Just because you aren't the strongest, or the absolute smartest, doesn't mean you aren't amazing and special." Isaac said.
"What am I supposed to do in this mission? I haven't done anything but mess things up." I said, feeling the tears stream down my face again.
"Faith, you are part of the Squidbeak Splatoon. We are a team. You're the one who made us realize that we didn't need to hide ourselves anymore. That we're a family. That we're meant to do more than get the power back on. That we're meant to save everyone. You were the beginning. You're special. You're the little ray of sunshine on our tiny army." Isaac said.
"Thank you..." I said, hugging him.
We let go of each other and he said, "Come on, let's get back to our friends."
I nodded, and let my lips caress his warm cheek.
I then walked over to the steps, and let him stand there, dumbfounded.