Self Made Poetry 2

I'm Trying

So many emotions and feelings reeling.

I ask myself questions i don't have the answers too.

Things i once saw so clearly now have me pondering and weary.

Life loves to complicate.

Has me all tied up in questions of love and hate.

Wondering what fate has in store.

I just don't have the answers anymore.

Debating choices that im not sure im prepared to make.

Theres other people lives also at stake from my choices.

Always i try to keep things in perspective, keep things real.

Lately i feel like im just stuck in time.

It's a new day but everything stays the same.

I think I'm afraid to move on.

Afraid once i except that im just holding on to memories, that i wont be able to deal with what's gone.

I been holding on to the past so long.

It's past the time to lay it to rest.

Do what's best for me.

I tell myself that I'm strong.

But i think im wrong about that too.

My feeling of being optimistic are gone.

But when i look in the mirror that's not the person i see.

I can't even be sure of what i want.

I feel like i need to put the past to rest.

Start all over.

Then my mind just starts reeling and there's this heartache i keep feeling.

I wonder why life keeps putting me through these test.

I try my best to overcome each thing.

But doubts are ringing alarms in my ears.

Been though so much tragedy over the years.

Overcame it as best i could.

Yet i close my eyes and there's no rest for my mind.

Lay there staring at the clock as time ticks by.

Letting myself cry because i know no one's there to see.

These thoughts are weighing down on me.

I'm starting to see i need to put my past to rest.

I put my emotions away and i go though my days.

I try not to feel because its easier that way.

Part of my hearts locked away because it makes it easy for me to keep people at bay.

So many emotions and feeling reeling.

But it's time for healing.

Time to let go of what used to be.

I'm going to take my time figure out what's the best for me.

No one knows what the future will be.

But im done letting my past decide my life for me.

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