Professor Justice's Secret Files

Joyce, Lily, and Lady Three

Around this time, I was already having a crush on Lily. This was the second semester that she was my student. She looked like Joyce, my former student who already graduated.

Joyce was my student on her last semester in college. She was only taking the subject I was teaching. I heard her grades in other subjects were well. She only took our subject late because it was not offered in the previous semester. She was like a big sister to her classmates.

I easily get attracted to smart and beautiful ladies who are kind and can take on leadership roles. I remember, when I was in college, I had a crush on a girl who defeated me in a class debate. Empowered women do not threaten me. In fact, I find them cute. I sort of feel safe with them because, while I know I must be ready to defend and protect them, I can be assured that they can defend themselves when I am not around. I can be assured that they can make smart decisions and they would not turn the world worse than before.

However, Joyce had a boyfriend. Again, I do not wish to court someone who has a boyfriend. I did that before and I just got hurt. I don't want to suffer that way again. Furthermore, her boyfriend was a lawyer who recently passed the Bar. I thought maybe it would still take time for me to deserve someone like her.

She graduated, and I remember seeing her only once more after that.

Then, I saw Lily. I thought Joyce was her. I also thought she was related to Joyce. They had so many similarities, except that Lily was not in a relationship.

I tried to ignore Lily because I was trying to reduce my list of crushes. I was planning to confess to Lady Three.

I admit that it is possible for me to have many crushes. In fact, I would go through some more of them after this chapter. But love is a choice. We may find others attracting, but we do not have to flirt with them. Love is a decision to stay loyal and not hurt the feelings of the one we love even if they're not looking. I can remain loyal even after rejection.

But Lily was hard to ignore. She didn't have to call for attention. It was natural to notice her.

However, I found myself in awe of Lily when she talked about her past. She said her family used to be middle-class. But their business went bankrupt. Eventually, they had to sell scraps. They were in the junk business. Malls did not allow them to enter the premises because they looked dirty. They lost their vehicles and her classmates back then laughed at their livelihood. But, slowly, they were able to rise from bankruptcy. At this point, they already bought a new car that has a functional air-condition. They're middle class again.

I found myself wanting to cry at her story. I admired her for telling that. Among my students, she was to be my biggest crush. While I told my feelings to her in jest, she did not believe it. Once, I saw her reading a pocket book. I asked her what made her interested in what she was reading. She replied that she was noting unfamiliar English words, understanding their semantics, and checking the grammar. Perhaps because of my different taste of books, and I usually buy expensive ones, I said I did not like the book she was reading. I gave her a small book from my family's library at home. She was happy.

But I did not pursue her because she was my student. I had to tell my colleagues how I felt for her so that they could check on me. I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't do anything stupid. There were times I would see her smiling at the corridor. When that happens, I simply appreciate her smile. Yet, sometimes, I try to walk away because I might show off my feelings too much.

Even after I resigned, I was still thinking about her. I called one of her friends a couple of times to check of any update about her. There was a time I personally asked her if she has a boyfriend. She said she wish to finish her studies first. I smiled and left.

At this point, I could only tell a little about Lady Three. Her character would be explored in another story. But she was the woman to whom I eventually confessed my feelings. I invited her to speak in one of my classes. That was my excuse to see her again after a couple of months. I confessed to her after she spoke in my class. I told my students I organized the whole thing just to see her again. Although I confirmed that day that she also had a boyfriend, we remained platonic friends until now. We share so many interests. I feel I could talk to her just about anything, and she usually has something intelligent to say. My loyalty to her kept me from falling into any temptation of getting into any unscrupulous relationship with my students.