All My Life

39| All my life

Tony's pov.

I believe it is safe to say that things have changed, drastically. I remember the days after I lost my child's custody, the images are hazy due to the extreme alcohol consumption but, they are there nonetheless. I remember dreaming about the chance to someday meet my kid, begging for the universe to make it happen. Sure, I would have wished for the circumstances to be different. The entire situation left me in a dilemma, a constant state of confusion about whether I should be mourning May or celebrate getting my son back, but, I did both which somehow managed to create a melancholy fusion of despair and ease, almost like the evening sky fused together with both the golden sunlight and the dark night deprived of luminosity.

I stare at the woman sitting in front of me, her blue eyes filled with uncertainty reminding me of the first time she found out about my superhero business. "Tony, are you sure about this? Adoption is not a minor deal, guardianship is still an option." I have second-guessed my decisions my entire life, but, this is something I know I would never. I simply can't. You don't second guess about something you have dreamed of your entire life.

"Pepper, all my life, every moment of it, I've begged for this. Nothing ever made me feel more desperate than losing my own son. I finally know what I have to do and I know in my heart that it's the right thing to do." The previous worry on her face eases off, replaced by a satisfied smile as she pushes the papers in my direction. My eyes skim through the lines and lines of terms and settle on the four words.

Peter Benjamin Parker Stark.

I quickly sign the papers, not feeling patient enough to wait for another second. I turn back to Pepper, only to find her eyes glazed over me as she seemed to be deep in her thoughts making me smirk. It's not an everyday occurrence you find one of the most renowned, if not the most, CEO glazed out. I snap my fingers in front of her eyes, managing to grab her attention. "You back to Earth yet, Ms Potts?" Her face turns a light shade of pink and I find my eyes glued to her. She is everything I never deserved, yet, here we are.

She clears her throat before standing up from her seat. "Congratulations, it's a boy!" The two of us laugh at the statement and I get up to grab the two glasses of champagne I had already poured.

"Cheers to that."

"Cheers!"

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"Sir, Mr Rogers is asking for entrance." Jarvis' unexpected announcement grabs my attention making me put my equipment aside, my mind running back to all the time I noticed his and Bucky's absence. They were supposed to be gone for a day at maximum in order to make sure the small cluster of weapons were transported safely to the new facility. Keeping Ross in mind, it was decided that it was indeed, necessary to keep the technology extremely safe thus came the decision of transporting the weapons in small clusters in case situation got out of hands and Ross got his hands on the cargo.

"Let him in, J." I spin on the chair to come face to face with Steve walking towards me, his eyes downcast and his mouth set in a straight line. "I didn't think you'd need five days to make sure the cargo was safely transported..." I stretch out and spin the wrench in my hand as my eyes continued to study the man in front of me.

"I couldn't watch out for the cargo." My eyebrow quirks in disbelief of what he was trying to imply. It is quite unbelievable coming out from the living epitome of responsibility. He out of everyone else is the one most concerned about the safety of the civilians, the one who worries the most about the bad guys managing to get immense power, it simply wasn't like him to ignore it.

"Excuse me?" The man remains silent, the stillness screaming that something had gone wrong but the intense worry of Ross getting his hands on the technology overpowers any other doubts. "Has the cargo reached the compound safely or not?" The words come out sharp mirroring my emotions. The last thing I want to deal with is some maniac running around with the power he can't even comprehend when I already have a murderer on my hand.

Steve finally looks up, his eyes cold and distant. "Yes, it did. Bucky handled it." I feel relief flood my veins at the positive confirmation but I remain confused at the sudden difference I the man's behaviour. What am I missing?

"Mind explaining what's wrong, Capsicle. I don't seem to catch the hint." A bitter laugh escapes his mouth as he continued to stare at me. "Of course, you don't know." The words coming from his mouth seemed to be coated with venom, yet, I find myself unable to find the mere reason behind so much anger.

"What the fuck is going on, Steve. If you got something to say then, say it!" The frustration of being left in the dark seeps into my voice. A dark look crosses his features and before I can comprehend what's happening, his hands wrap around my neck, hard enough to show his anger but loose enough to not actually hurt me.

"Peggy Carter is dead! She is dead and I wasn't there because I was supposed to be upstate in order to protect that damn cargo." I barely find myself acknowledge the fact that the man in front of me has his hands wrapped around my neck as my mind runs over the words that had escaped his mouth.

Peggy Carter is dead...

The same woman who snapped me back to my senses when I holed myself away from any sort of human contact after receiving the news of my parents' death, the same woman who was nothing less than an aunt to me was...dead.

My thoughts turn to Steve, knowing well enough what the woman meant to him, his reaction isn't what I'd call unexpected. "She is dead, Stark." He hisses at me, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Dad?"

Steve's hold around my neck loosens significantly as we both turn to the source of the voice which made my heart drop at the thought of who it was. This isn't good, not at all, not when he is dealing with severe nightmares, when almost every night I find my kid terrified out of his wits, afraid of losing me. This isn't good.

My eyes reach that of Peter's, bordered with dark crests below his eyes acting as a proof of the terror that keeps him away from peace, which held untamed fury.

Shit...

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A/N

I apologize for not updating yesterday. I was feeling a bit down, I guess... But, here it is. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

See ya! ;)