All My Life

36| I'm here

Tony's pov.

"You knew about it all this time, didn't you?" I continue to stare at the ivory floor, not finding myself able to look the kid in his eyes. His voice makes my heart break, the sheer amount of pain and shock hitting me like bullets. I clench my eyes for a moment before mustering all my energy to look up at him, his eyes red and shining with the tears he was so desperately fighting back.

"Peter-" I move to step towards him but he raises his hand, pointing his palms towards me before he shoots a web towards my hand making it stick to the wall behind me. I look at him wide-eyed, not quite able to comprehend what he had done.

A helpless look covers his features and he is running out of the door before I or Natasha could make a single move. I feel a shaky breath leave my lips before I pull my other hand towards the one stuck, barely managing to summon the gauntlet and watch as it wraps around my palms. My hand is free of the web in no time as I thank myself for installing the laser in the gauntlet.

Natasha gives me a sharp nod, a sign that she will manage here and I am out the door in seconds, my veins filled with anxiety for the kid. I should've had lied, that's what I should have done but I couldn't bring myself to do that. But, it's a mess, a huge mess I can't find myself to get out of.

Oh Gosh!

That kid is an idiot, a complete and utter idiot. That's the only thing repeating in my mind as I stare at the white strings of web sticking from the edges of various buildings. My heart escalates in my chest as I summon my suit. This is bad, too bad.

"Jarvis, trace Peter and disable the surveillance system, cover it up as a bug." My voice comes out shaky, the fear continuing to muster up in my chest as various scenarios run in my head like a movie. "Coordinates acquired, sir. The city's surveillance is also down." I pull myself together and the next second I am shooting up, my eyes stuck to the red dot appearing at the side of the virtual screen.

I land on one of the empty roofs where Peter is supposed to be. It doesn't take me long to find him as he sat on the rough floor, his face buried in his hands.

I should've lied...

I step out of the suit as Peter raises his head, his eyes glued to me. He gets up from his previous sitting position and stalks to me, rage evident on his face. "How could you not tell me!" I hold myself back from flinching at the loud yell. I find myself pushing the blame on the dead woman, it wasn't my decision but I find myself contemplating if I would've told him even if it was my decision to be made.

The truth is, I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have told him, knowing how much he'd suffer. "It wasn't my decision to be made." I choose to keep the answer short and straight. The sentence makes his fury vanish, replaced by sadness as he stared at me like a helpless child stuck in something he couldn't get out of, his eyes begging for help.

"Why wouldn't she tell me, Mr Stark?" His voice was barely above a whisper and I feel my emotionless facade crack a bit. "I don't know, kid."

"This isn't fair. I-I, everyone's gone, Mr Stark. I c-can't," He stumbles over his words and I find myself helpless, knowing I can't shield him from this. It wasn't supposed to go down like this. He wasn't supposed to watch his world crash around him like this.

"I told her, I hated her. I said I hated both of you." He stumbles towards me and I watch him visibly trying to hold himself together, trying to pull up a strong front. He wasn't supposed to push his emotions down, he didn't have to. Not while I am here to help him, not while he has me.

Tony, you didn't see him. He was a mess, he hates us.

I've lived a life full of regrets, I still am. There are moments when I find the weight disappear for some time but it's always back, leaving me exhausted, wishing for things to have turned out to be a bit different, hoping I had said something else or made a different choice. That's not something my kid was supposed to face, not now, not ever. But, I guess, some things remain out of your control and you have no one to push the blame on.

The last thing I want is for him to go through what I did...

My own words echo in my head as I stare at the boy in front of me, my boy. "I don't hate her, Mr Stark. I don't hate any of you, it wasn't true." A small part of me feels relieved hearing the words come out of his mouth but the larger part remains worried, worried for the kid in front of me who seemed to be on the verge of a mental breakdown.

I knew it was coming, the tears and the sobs yet, my heart clenched painfully as the kid wrapped his arms around my torso. "I know, I know." I hold him tight, feeling as if he will shatter the moment my hold loosen around the sobbing kid.

"I was, I was going to tell her. But, she-" He couldn't complete the sentence and I remain silent, my eyes remain hazed.

"She knows. She knows you don't hate her."

He suddenly jerks out of my hold, his eyes dripping with fear as he stared at me. "I can't." He whispers, stepping away from me and I push away the hurt I feel at his actions. "Pete?" I whisper, trying to pull him out of whatever his mind was weaving for him to believe.

"You'll leave me too." I open my mouth but no words come out of it, my eyes glued to the terrified child too afraid to even step closer. It pains me to watch him second guess his every action and I feel furious at anything and everything for making him think he can't remain close to someone.

I step forward, almost hesitantly. "I won't. I'm right here and I don't plan on going anywhere." He stares at me unblinkingly and I almost see his thoughts trying to pull him over but I won't let that happen. That's not happening on my watch.

"I'm here."

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I pull the comforter over the sleeping boy, his skin pale but I feel a bit relief, knowing, he is calm now, not going through another breakdown. It's understandable for him to be exhausted, emotional pain does that to you.

I close the door slowly, making sure not to disturb him. I won't be surprised if the tiniest of sound would make him shoot out of his bed, after all, I've had the first-hand experience with that.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and pull it out but soon, frown as Natasha's name flashed across the screen. I wasn't expecting her call, not after Pepper and Clint went to the hospital to help her out. I answer the call, hoping everything was fine but I guess it is too much to ask for. Nothing is ever fine, Natasha's hurried voice solidifies the fact.

"Tony, you need to get to the hospital, right now."

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A/N

So, this was a bit emotional to write but I guess it turned out better than I thought it would. And...the call, there's always something I leave hanging, isn't there?

Well, that's it for today. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

See, ya! ;)