Chapter 5

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Imagine him with freckles~

Elijah P.O.V

I flinch as Samuel call us for dinner. I really don't want to go downstairs, where my questioning will be held. Yesterday they didn't ask me many questions as to not overwhelm me, but I know that today won't be the same. However, I can't afford to skip another meal, because I will be too weak after and it will just make them worry more about me. They will surely assume that I'm anorexic too. I can't blame them. We can easily see my rib cage, as well as my spinal column and my cheeks are hollow. Not a pretty sight. 

That's one of the reasons why nobody is interested in me. I haven't found my mate yet when normally you find them at eighteen years old, which mean I should have found him two years ago. So, there is three possibilities. First, my mate is younger than me by more than two years. Second, my mate already died. Third, the Goddess didn't give me a mate. She thought I wasn't worthy enough to have one. I think it's the last one, because honestly no one would ever want me as their mate. 

I'm ugly, weird, skinny, have too many secrets, have trauma, have too many baggage and I'm disgusting. If I can't even love myself, how can somebody else love me? I'm really pathetic. If one day, someone want to go out with me, it would be more out of pity than love. And even then, when they learn about 'him' they will be disgusted and hate me. It is better if no one love me, because I won't get my hopes up just to be disappointed and heartbroken after.

I take off the apron I had put on as to not stain my new shirt and went downstairs while dragging my feet. I will just tell Samuel that I sweated in my shirt due to the hot weather and had to change, because it stank too much. Yeah, I'm normally inside most of the time, so it's not abnormal to sweat more, because I'm not accustomed to hot temperature. 

The stairs don't even creak as I walk it down. It creaks for everyone but me, even for Samuel when I'm taller than him. It just shows how much I'm skinny and weight nothing. It must be really easy to carry me.

Coming to a stop in front of the kitchen, I silently watch as the whole family sit at the table and talk. They are all smiling and laughing, enjoying their time together. They look like the perfect family, but it will all change when they will see me. They will become quiet and their smiles will turn sympathetic and forced, while the worry blossom in their eyes instead of the happiness. They will become cautious of each word they say and the twins will look at me with anger in their fierce eyes and clenched jaws and fists. Mikael and Jaydon will put back their hateful expression, which only me can see. For their parents, it's more of a worried one, but I can see the furry behind the fake worry.

I enter the kitchen and all eyes are immediately on me. I see the scowls on the twins' face, before they soothe it and put back their worry facade. Samuel looks at me with a small smile and I inwardly flinch at the pity in his eyes. I don't need pity, I hate it. Alexander don't look at me. After they learnt about my problems, the Alpha started to ignore me, because he didn't know how to act. He always wears a conflicted expression and looks at me with troubled eyes when he thinks I'm not watching. He musts think I'm disturbing their happy family, that I shouldn't be here.

I walk to my seat and sit down, the chair making a small scratching sound as I take it nearer the table. We are eating stew today and I don't want some sauce to stain my new t-shirt. I take my fork and put some meat in my mouth, slowly chewing it as the flavour explode in my mouth. Alex and Sam look at each other, before slightly nodding. I see Samuel open his mouth and know he's going to ask me about the day before yesterday.

Well, let's start the infernal questioning…

Hey dear readers, our skinny boy feels so self-conscious :(

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(727 words)

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