BP2: When I Was Your Man

CHAPTER 29: Sunset

A/N: This chapter contains big time and major spoiler from Make it Real.

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DIANNE's

AFTER kong manggaling sa clinic ng psychiatrist ay dito ulit ako dumiretso sa bahay ni Nathan. Nasanay na kong dito umuuwi, halos makalimutan ko na ang itsura ng condo ko. My psychiatrist is already working on my written evaluation and now here I am, nakatanga sa laptop for I have to type our marital history.

Kanina pa kong nakatingin sa laptop ko pero hanggang ngayon ay wala akong mailagay, hindi ko kasi alam kung saan ba ko magsisimula. I have to recall all the good and bad memories I had with Harry, and it's hard for me.

Nilingon ko si Nathan na kasalukuyang nakadapa sa kama niya, facing towards me. He's peacefully sleeping at natatamaan ng konting liwanag ang mukha niya mula sa lampshade na gamit ko. Kumuha ko ng lakas by just mere looking at him, he has that effect in me. Kahit sa presensya niya lang, tumatapang ako, lumalakas ang loob ko.

Muli kong hinarap ang laptop at huminga nang malalim, then I started typing.

Harry and I are childhood friends. The two of us, together with another friend, Keirvin, literally grew up together. Mula noong mga baby pa lang kami hanggang sa nag-Kinder na kami. We are in the same neighborhood in Caloocan and isa lang ang school namin. The three of us are bestfriends, but Keirvin is my puppy love, as they say.

I was smiling the whole time I am writing it. Kung sana lang pwede kaming bumalik sa pagkabata.

We are always together, not until an incident happened when I was seven and they are both eight years old. Their fathers were killed in front of them. It was intentional and the suspect went missing until he was declared dead. Since that day, everything has changed.

My chest started to get heavy.

Wala na silang nanay pareho so Keirvin was adopted by his aunt, and Harry was sent to orphanage. I was left all alone. It was difficult for me because at a young age, I depended my life on them. I grew up without them then when I turned 18, fate find its way to bring us back together. I first met Keirvin pero mabilis din siyang inagaw ng langit sa'kin. He died without me knowing na siya iyong childhood love ko.

Keirvin was my first love. I may have liked another noong panahong hindi na kami magkakasama, but Keirvin is my first love noong mga bata pa lang kami. Hindi naging maganda ang takbo ng naging relasyon namin but he has a place in me.

Months later, I turned 19 and I met Harry who was 20 years ol back then, I also did not realize that he was my childhood friend. Classmate siya ni Rod sa Med School, Rod is my bestfriend's wife. He courted me, everyday niya kong sinusuyo, kinukulit.

My eyes started to water.

He followed me everyday and everywhere, he bought me a dress, he treated me lunch several times, he even followed me in my province dahilan para makilala niya ang relatives ko. He was there whenever I am mourning sa puntod ni Keirvin, he was there when I'm crying, when I'm sad, and lost. He never lets me down. He always make sure that I'm happy.

And I don't know what went wrong. Before I knew it, tuloy-tuloy na ang pag-agos ng luha ko as I reminisce our memories together. It was all good and perfect, but why did we end up like this?

I breathed heavily and continued typing.

We had a quarrel one night and I told him to stay away from me dahil nakukulitan na ko sa kanya, and I directly told him that no one can ever replace Keirvin. So he did stay away from me. Ilang araw niya kong hindi kinulit, that's when I knew, that I was also actually falling from him.